I believe that there are two ways to change your habits-one is from the inside, another one from the outside. I always used to go with the second one, which is trying to change the habit directly. I think that is what most people do. But the truth is – it is a very ineffective method of changing yourself and it often doesn’t work.
I want to be more effective in taking action and stop procrastinating.
I want to become more organized
I want to become more focused
What are the habits that you want change?
If I wanted to manage my time better, I would just strive every day and remind myself often that I needed to manage my time better.
This method does work. But you have to be a very strong willed person to make it work for you.
Of course you can make new behaviors into habits by working hard. They say it takes 21-30 days to install a new habit. Seems like not such a long period of time but for most people it really is and lot of people give up before the new behavior actually becomes automatic.
The change from the inside is easier, actually lasts and most importantly is much more effective. When you change from the inside, your new behavior becomes automatic quicker and you don’t have to constantly remind yourself about it. If you want to become more organized, when you change from the inside, you naturally become more organized.
So how do you change from the inside? There are three steps:
1) Accept your goal with all of its pluses and minuses.
Yes, every goal of ours has some negatives in it that we subconsciously fear to face. Accept them, this way there won’t be any misalignment between your conscious and your subconscious desires and fears.
If you want to stop procrastinating, and actually start taking action toward your goals, ask yourself a question: “What bad will happen when I do that?” Listen to your answers.
May be you are unconsciously afraid of losing your friends if you become more successful or maybe you are afraid of what your spouse’s reaction might be.
What are your unconscious fears? Find them. Just becoming aware often lets your unconscious fears go.
2)Change your thoughts of the problem. If your problem is you being a disorganized person, stop thinking of yourself as being that way. Start repeating to yourself that you are organized and can manage your time and resources wisely. Start visualizing yourself being an organized person and soon your mind will believe you.
As soon as your mind believes in it, you will become naturally organized. New behavior will become automatic.
Taking action after that will be easy and almost effortless. No hard work, no striving.
Those are the two steps. If you want your new way of behavior to last, you have to make it automatic, so you don’t have to consciously remind yourself about it.
Make your mind believe, get rid of any misalignment between your conscious and unconscious desires and fears, and you will create change that will last.
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