I don’t mind what happens.
This is the phrase that Krishnamurti, one of the enlightened masters and great teachers once said. There is great wisdom in this short phrase.
Most of us live our whole lives chasing some goals we’ve set for ourselves or standards we believed we should follow.
We say: “I’ll be truly happy when I make X amount of money” or “I’ll be happy when I finally meet that special someone” or “I’ll be happy when I lose 40 pounds”.
And we do reach those goals, but often the true excitement and happiness doesn’t last long. We soon find something else to be unhappy about and off we go to fixing that issue, again thinking: “This time I’ll really be happy, just let me fix this little problem, let me reach this goal”.
A vicious cycle.
There is always something wrong or something not just right. There is always something to fix. There is never any certainty.
Look at your life now. Now remember yourself 5 years ago. Chances are lots of the things you dreamed abput 5 years ago exist in your life now and became trivial things for you. You don’t care about them as much anymore.
You need more and you truly believe that when you get more you’ll finally be happy. Will you really?
Let me give you an example from my own life. Several years ago I dreamed of becoming independent, moving out of my parents house, getting a great job. That did happen. I was happy for a couple days maybe.
Then I started disliking the small apartment that I was living in, and I wanted a big house. I started disliking the job and started wanting to get married and become a stay at home mom. That did happen too. I got a husband, a baby, a house.
Well, again I was truly happy for maybe couple months. Being a stay at home mom turned out to be not such an exciting thing to do, and I began wanting to be busy, to feel like I was contributing to society. So I started my own business. Boy, did I become busy!
I slept 4 hours a night trying to juggle motherhood and the responsibilities that came with starting my own business. I was not happy again.
I didn’t even mention lots of other big and little goals that I have reached and was happy about for a few days . Then I was off to something else. Constant anxiety, constant feeling sof dissatisfaction with what is. Constant chase and big hopes to finally find what will make me happy for good.
Do you recognize yourself?
Do you think I am trying to say that setting goals and wanting more is a bad thing to do. No!! I am not trying to say that at all. In fact I am the one who always encourages people to have big goals, to not being afraid of taking action towards them.
Set your goals, reach them. But remember reaching your goals does not equal happiness.
You can be happy now.
Happiness is something inside of you and the outside world can’t really bring it to you if you can’t find it inside.
If you continue living your life with a “I’ll be happy when…” attitude, you’ll never be happy. Allow yourself to let go and look at reaching your goals as a game. Your whole life is just one big game that you are playing. Don’t take the game too seriously and don’t depend on it to make you happy.
“Happiness is a process, not a destination”.
Due to some personal circumstances, the amount of uncertainty in my life is incredible right now. Something that would scare the hell out of me before. I again have big goals to reach and lots of things to “fix”. But despite all of that I think I have never been happier and more at peace than I am now.
Happiness truly is a choice and until you depend on outside circumstances in order for you to be happy, you’ll never be. Not for long at least.
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