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9 Steps To Get You Back On Track When Things Are Messy + Out Of Balance + Out Of Flow

Sometimes things don’t work out the way you hoped to. Sometimes circumstances are against you.

People around you act crazy. You yourself act like you never thought you would.  

Life seems to be completely out of flow, out of balance and out of direction. You try and try but hit the same wall over and over again.

And you get frustrated. You think  – when is this going to end? When can I finally relax?

 You want relief. You want peace of mind. You want freedom. Freedom from worry, from struggle, from having to prove over and over again to yourself and everyone around you that you can do it, that you are worthy.

You know those days. We all do.

 What do you do during those days? How do you realign yourself?

For whatever reason several people close to me were going through this cycle lately. And then I hit one of those days as well. You know, we always attract people into our lives that are in one way or another reflect who we are.

So here is the list of steps I used to break free and get back in the flow.

1)  Consciously decide to not react.

I know easy to say, not so easy to do. Still try it. Make a conscious decision that whatever happens you are going to stay in a non-reactive mode. Stop the vicious cycle of negative reactive thoughts in your head. Breathe. Deeply. And just decide to not react.

2)  You are alive.

I am not going to talk about gratitude here.  This is something beyond gratitude. Consciously focus on the fact that you are alive.

Think about it. What else can possible matter? You breathe. You walk and talk (I hope). You are most likely in a very decent health. What else in the world could possibly matter?

Really. Now go further. Do you have food? Do you have where to live? Now look back 5 years from now. Did you make progress? Most likely you did and a huge one. Most likely you are living every single one (or pretty damn close) of your dreams now. Aren’t you? Be honest.

If not just focus on the fact that you are alive.  That alone really is enough.

3)  Embrace life.

Consciously decide to embrace everything you are experiencing.  It is life. Your Life. Yes, it is messy at times. Yes, it hurts sometimes. But it is Your Life. And it is beautiful with all the mess and hurt and struggle.

Think about it for a minute. Your Life. I bet you’ll feel a wave of Love coming out from the depth of your soul. This is Your Life. The only one you’ve got. Love it. Accept it the way it is.

4)   You have goals.

For whatever reason I am very confident that most people reading this blog have goals and dreams and big aspirations.  It is actually a pretty rare thing for the rest of the world. A lot of people in the rest of the world never even get clear on their dreams and never allow themselves to set big goals and dare to commit to them.

You are in an exclusive club of those who do. And that alone is a huge progress.

  5)   Consciously take responsibility.

You are responsible for what you are going through. And it might suck to take that responsibility but if you think about it, it is an incredibly empowering feeling. You are the creator. Look at your creation and no matter how messy it is, love it.

Consciously choose to let go of the victim mentality. Don’t blame anyone or anything. For whatever reason you created this experience. Maybe you needed it to grow further. Maybe there is a lesson your soul needed to learn. No matter why that happened, this is Your Creation. Own it.

 6)   Ask why.

Look at the situation as if you are an observer. Get detached and ask why this is happening. Listen to the answers. They’ll come. The way out might be just behind your “why”. 

7)   Write to get unstuck.

Take whatever you have in your head and put it on paper. This is actually a very powerful technique to get out of situation you are stuck in. I have no idea why it works but it works.

Literally start writing down everything that is bothering you.  And you’ll see how situation will start resolving itself.

If you want to go further you can also burn what you’ve written. This is a symbolic act of letting go of the situation. Might sound like too out there, but lots of people say it works. Ok, I tried it too. It does work.  Writing things down without burning will work just as well, so don’t feel pressured to do the burning thing.

8)   Get truly clear on how you want your life to be.

You thought I won’t talk about clarity in this post? Of course I will, gotta include what I preach anywhere I can.

But, really,  ask yourself – what is it that I truly want? Consciously decide that getting it is Your Choice and your choice only.  Everything in your life is Your Creation and Your Choice. If you really want it, you’ll get it. No way around it.  Just dare to get clear and commit.

9)   Forgive. Yourself.

You might have done something you didn’t want. You might have said something you didn’t mean to say, or, let’s say, you Best Self wouldn’t have said.

You might be blaming yourself and somewhere deep down you feel that you really deserve to be in the situation you are in because of how “imperfect” you are.

Forgive. Let go. You know that guilt won’t lead you anywhere. You know that blaming yourself will only make things worse. So just let go and forgive.

Those are the steps.

Embrace your life as  it is now. Stop resisting. What you resist persist. This messy, stressful, imbalanced and what at times might seem like never ending struggle is Your Life.

Love it. Take it as it is. Get passionate about it. It doesn’t matter if you always get it right. What matters is that you are moving.

Enjoy the rollercoaster!

You’ll get where you want to be. Faster than you think.

P.S. I forgot to include something very important –  know that you are not alone. There are people who care. There are people who understand. Don’t believe it? Try me  – lana {at} daringclarity {dot} com ,  I’ll assure you that you are not alone personally.

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