Have you ever had a job you didn’t enjoy but stayed there just because of the money?
Have you ever stayed with the person you didn’t want to be with but for the fear of staying alone? Have you ever given someone a favor just because you wanted to get a favor back?
Have you ever not said what you felt like saying because of the fear of being rejected?
Have you ever started a business just because it looked like a good idea and you thought you would make lots of money, but you never cared about the business itself?
If you’ve ever been in any situations similar to the ones described above, you’ll understand what I mean by
Fear based decisions can be anything – some of them are big ones, some of them are not as big, sometimes we don’t even realize we make them.
I lived a life based on fear for a long time. I still probably do sometimes, but I have committed to reduce the amount of my fear based decisions to an absolute minimum.
Can I stop doing it altogether? Probably so. Is it hard? Probably not, all I have to do is just decide, right? Does it take lots of courage and trust? Absolutely!
Here are some of the things that I did in the last few months to eliminate fear based decisions from my life. I stopped working on a business that had big potential, but wasn’t really aligned with my purpose.
It was tough because I did enjoy that business so I couldn’t say that I was staying in it completely out of fear. But after thinking about it for a while I realized that it was not my purpose and it wasn’t something I saw myself doing and enjoying long term. So I had to let it go. That decision took lots of courage and trust because it cut down a large part of my income but I don’t regret.
I let go of relationships that were no longer based on love and just drained my energy. I let go of fear to play small and now dream as big as I feel like dreaming. I let go of the need to please certain people.
So how to make the switch to making decisions predominantly based on love, not fear? How do you reduce the amount of fear based decisions in your life as much as possible?
1. Love and accept yourself. Only with true love and acceptance can you let go of the part of you that is overtaken by fear.
Accept yourself with all of your imperfection. Accept your worries, doubts. Accept the fact that you were making those fear based decisions.
Accept even the fact that you might continue making them no matter how hard you try to stop. This last point sounds counterintuitive, but, trust me, what you resist, persists. Instead of fighting, try accepting and facing.
2. Make unconscious conscious. It is proven that up to 95% of our daily activity is based on the subconscious programming we have downloaded from the past. Most of the decisions we make on a daily basis, we don’t even question. We make them based on that programming.
The result? Lots of fear without us even realizing we have it.
How do you stop living on autopilot? Learn self awareness. Learn being fully present in every moment. Then you’ll be able to consciously make a choice and notice yourself making fear based decision right away.
3. Find your “Whys”. Why do you want to stop making decision based on fear? Even if they are small ones. Even if you hardly notice doing it. Why do you want to stop? What are your “whys”?
Most likely you one of your “whys” is a desire to live a more authentic life. Or maybe a desire to spread the vibe of love and acceptance? Or maybe your “why” is your desire to have that inner knowing that you are being true to yourself?
What are your “whys”?
4. Find your True Self, find your purpose and passions. Too often we live our lives based on the limitations and standards others imposed on us.
What do You truly want in life? What is your purpose? What are your passions? Amazingly, once we discover our purpose and what we truly are passionate about , making love based decisions and letting go of those that are based on fear becomes so much easier.
5. Jump, the net will appear. It takes courage to leave a job that is paying your bills and commit to doing what you love. It sometimes takes courage to leave relationships that no longer make you happy.
It takes courage and lots of faith to commit to making only love based decisions. Take that courage.
I think if you follow all of the steps listed above, finding the courage will be easy. I almost dare to say it will happen automatically. At least that is what happened to me.
Live with love, live with passion!