Hi! I moved to a new place. I would love for you to visit me there.

if you want to go There, you have to leave Here first

let things goletting golet go

You can’t go somewhere and stay where you are at the same time. It is the law of nature. No exceptions.

 Makes sense doesn’t it? But so often that’s exactly what we are trying to do – be in both places at the same time..

I was talking to a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. Very good old friend. Wonderful person, we share memories and we had so much in common in the past.

She is still Here. She is completely and totally Here. Here, where I am moving out of. 

I can’t take her with me. And I do want to go.  But I realized that subconsciously I resisted.

 Subconsciously I didn’t want to give up this friendship even though there was not much left from the friendship we once had.

She doesn’t understand me anymore, I don’t understand her. The whole idea of following the passion is kind of ridiculous to her. The idea of NOT doing it is ridiculous to me. 

But I would purposely make myself smaller when talking to her.  I wouldn’t show how much I changed. I would be like her.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with her and I don’t judge. But we are different now and if I stay in that circle, it means I have to be like that circle because that circle doesn’t accept anything different.

Fear of greatness. Fear of being different. Comfort zone. But I’ll talk about those in a different post.

In this post I want to say loud and clear: You can’t stay here if you want to go there. It is impossible. It is against the laws of nature. No exceptions.

What are you resisting letting go of?

What is holding you where you want to move on from? You might be surprised if you look closer.

I, of course, knew about letting go of the old to accept the new and I thought I did it. Only lately did I notice that there still were some things in my life that I was resisting letting go of.

So look closer, what do you need to let go?

What is not allowing you to move where you want to go?

Look at people in your life. Are they in alignment with who you want to be? Do they support you in your vision?

Try doing the following:

Close your eyes. Imagine your Ideal Day. What do you see there? Now open your eyes and write down what or who in your life is not vibrationally aligned with your Ideal Day.

I am not saying to get rid of everyone and everything ruthlessly. Some friends will support you even if they won’t go all the way there with you. But what about those that make you play small, that don’t support nor understand you, that are simply too out of sync with your Vision.

Let them go. Don’t regret.

If you want to be the new you, if you want to tap into your Greatness, Into Your True Self, you have to let go of everything that holds you back.

Just take a deep breath. And decide to let go. 

 I did. And it feels great. 

Part 2 of this post is coming soon.

Live consciously, Be Yourself, Follow Your Dreams!

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

David February 13, 2010 at 9:17 am

This is exactly the message I needed to hear. Thanks!

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Bart February 13, 2010 at 10:21 am

Wonderfully said, Lana. We don’t all grow at the same time and at the same pace. What’s more, some people decide to not grow at all. That’s perfectly okay, but chances are (as you said) that you’ll have to let them go so you can go to the ‘there’ and leave the ‘here’. Great post!
.-= Bart´s last blog ..Stop Caring What People Think: Best Practices =-.

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Eduard @ Ideas With A Kick February 13, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Hey Lana,

Interesting. I think we all have an innate tendency to preserve the status-quo, and society reinforces this tendency, teaching us to fear taking risks, and to seek the security of the familiar. It’s a small battle we all have to give with these tendencies if we wanna live our dreams.

Eduard
.-= Eduard @ Ideas With A Kick´s last blog ..The ultimate tool for managing your emotions =-.

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Jacqui February 13, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I understand this post SO well. Especially the part about staying small to keep a friendship. Sometimes it can even mean leaving family members ‘behind’ who don’t support you. Sometimes you resonate with people for a time and then you change, you grow and those old friendships don’t fit anymore.

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Lana February 13, 2010 at 4:20 pm

@David I am gald this post came in time for you:)

@Bart Exactly Bart, there is nothing wrong with either, but you can’t be in both places at the same time.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..How To Get In The Flow or How To Connect With Your Inner Genius =-.

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Lana February 13, 2010 at 4:24 pm

@Eduard security of the familiar, that’s exactly what it is all about, you said it perfectly. Thanks for commenting!

@Jacqui yes, sometimes family members go there too, it hardre to leave them behind though, we don’t choose our family (I mean immediate family) but we do and we should choose friends.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..How To Get In The Flow or How To Connect With Your Inner Genius =-.

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Josh Hanagarne February 13, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Awesome. I try to keep the past on hand because it’s pleasant and nostalgic most of the time. I also try not to get too caught up in thinking about tomorrow, because today passes quickly and becomes forgettable too often if I’m fixated on the future.

Very, very well said. I’m always glad when I swing by your place here. Hats off to you, friend!
.-= Josh Hanagarne´s last blog ..My Unexpected Lunch With Seth Godin =-.

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Dan February 13, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Lana, I very much appreciate your insight and can relate to your words so clearly! It is so easy to realize that there are things in your life which you would like to change or modify, but sometimes fail to hone in on the areas which actually need improvement first. Whether that means you are aware of the constant input received from others in enforcing your vision, and if not, then taking action and cutting off that which keeps you remaining stagnant, and therefore does not allow you to change what you desire. I am in the midst of this struggle, and am finding it difficult to 1) Find people who can enforce may dream of moving outside of the box most people live in, and 2) Taking the steps to move in the direction, and make the path I desire. It’s a challenge, and all you can do is believe, and become aware of the people and opportunities around you which will enforce your vision, but like anything, patience and perseverance is key! Thanks Lana, I appreciate all which you have to provide. Dan

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Lana February 14, 2010 at 12:47 am

@Josh, living in present moment is the best for sure. Thanks for commenting!

@Dan I truly believe that as soon as you completely let go of what is holding you back and embrace the reality that you wish to create for yourself, you’ll become a magnet for those people who’ll support your vision. It is a challenge sometimes but we are growing and learning to trust more, both of which are definitely worth it to go through the challenge. Thank you for commenting!
.-= Lana´s last blog ..How To Get In The Flow or How To Connect With Your Inner Genius =-.

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Tess The Bold Life February 14, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I spent time trying to be in an old circle last week and it was a disaster. I think the experience showed me I did the right thing by leaving it in the first place. If someone isn’t supporting my vision there is no sense in taking them with me in the future. It’s called baggage. It sounds cruel but it’s not it’s heavy and it makes me tired and emotionally drained.

When we leave we are really giving them a gift…they have space in their life to bring a new friend. We gift ourselves with space for the new as well. It would be unfair to both parties to do anything else.
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Living A Life Of No Regrets =-.

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Nadia - Happy Lotus February 14, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Hi Lana,

Thank you so much for sharing the experience that you had with your friend. I am going through something similar in my life and this is not the first time something like this has happened.

Sometimes we have to move forward and not everyone in our lives can move forward with us. It is an uncomfortable realization but sometimes it is best to move on than be stuck in a place that is not serving us or helping us grow. Plus, the company we keep does rub off on us on some level. It is best to be surrounded with people who share the same vision and who are supportive.
.-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Accessing The Yoda That Lives Within You =-.

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J.D. Meier February 15, 2010 at 1:30 am

Endings are tough — I always think of “Don’t Speak,” by Gwen Stefani.

New beginnings can be bitter sweet.

It’s great that you’re becoming more of who you are. Part of the process means letting go, but it also means you’ll attract more people that are up your alley. Always remember that opposites attract … but similarities bind. The more you live your values, the more passionate your life becomes and you unleash your best.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Love Quotes =-.

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Jeanne February 15, 2010 at 6:15 pm

You are spot on, Lana, with the idea of letting go relationships that are no longer supportive, and doing it with no guilt attached! It takes a great measure of faith in Life, and faith in ones’ self. . . and I believe what Tess said is true — it’s a win/win event for all concerned!
.-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Two Lives, Unmet =-.

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Lana February 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm

@J.D. Opposites attract but similarities bind – I loved it JD. Thanks for commenting!

@Jeanne It is a win/win and you are so right, it shows faith. Thank you Jeanne!
.-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

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Lana February 15, 2010 at 6:47 pm

@Tess, it is so great to view it as a gift to both parties, that’s exactly how I am going to view it from now on. Thank you Tess!

@Nadia, I totally agree, the company does rub off on us, so we have to choose people who surround us wisely. Thank you for commenting Nadia!
.-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

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BertieorBirdie January 21, 2012 at 7:42 pm

A simple and inelltgient point, well made. Thanks!

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Mark February 16, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Your lesson today is very important. We truly can ‘t be there if we are here. We do need to be aware of that which we need to let go of. I am reminded of a hot air balloon and how one must drop off the weighted bags for the baloon to rise higher. What once served us may now be the very thing that is holding us down. A wise post, thanks.

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Monica February 19, 2010 at 4:56 am

Hi Lana,
Maybe a different perspective,
I’m not sure if I know anyone in alignment with who I want to be…
I have had a similar issue with a friend for years. We don’t discuss things in depth. Mostly surface talk . I have often felt that she is not interested in what I’m passionate about (because she does not engage in conversation about these things) and I often feel dis-satisfied with time spent with her.

I have struggled with the idea of letting the friendship go, and many times wished I had more (or any) friends who share similar passions (or in alignment)

Then I started “letting go” and I realized that when I feel dismayed by the relationship it is often due to a deep insecurity that, by her not engaging me in conversation about something I’m excited about, she is not validating my life experience. When I let the insecure feeling pass rather than redirecting the emotion (on to her) I find I have more room to accept her as she is. In the higher sense, I (Self) am OK regardless of what she thinks about what I’m up to.
I think it’s valuable to make time and space for new things, but there is also value in appreciating things for what they are, I think friends can be good friends even if they do not share our passions. I may have a little less time for them but I can still enjoy them.
The challenge is discerning between that which is truly not supportive (minimizing) rather than just a difference in life goals. I can still go There as long as I am not attached to bringing people with me.
I had to sit on this for a bit before I wrote…thanks for discussing this. I would love your thoughts.

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Lana February 19, 2010 at 7:43 am

Wow, Monica, thank you so much for your comment, I truly enjoyed reading it and got lots of insights. I totally agree, there is value in appreciating things for what they are, loving and accepting what you’ve got here and now. If you read my next followup post, you’ll see how much I agree with you.

I probably didn’t explain it in the post, but with this particular friendship I felt I either had to fit or was not welcomed. That’s the difference for me.

I am totally ok with those who just don’t support and don’t understand me. Yes, of course, I’d love to be supported and understood and appreciated for who I am and what I do(Ego), but I don’t expect all of my friends to do it and we still have good times together. I just don’t talk much about what I do, but when I do, they don’t ridicule it.

With that friendship it was different.
I think there are several degrees here:

those who completely in sync with you and support you (I wish I had more of those!)
those who are not in sync with you, but still support you (great!)
those who don’t support but accept(I am OK with them)
those who don’t support nor accept and openly show it (I choose to let them go)
.-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

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Monica February 20, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Hi Lana!
I hear you loud and clear on the “fit in or not welcome.” Time to let go!!
The degrees are good to point out and give me more to think about…I think my friend falls into support but not in sync!
As a “feeling” person I am sometimes too tuned into the subtle body language that occurs in conversation> This body plane is sometimes as loud and the verbal plane and I sense whether a dialog is in tune or not. Add that to baggage and…well you know!
I’ll hop over to your next post and continue to learn…thanks!!

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Lana February 21, 2010 at 4:33 am

Monica, I so hear you about being a feeling person. Someone can tell me that they love me, but if there is some subtle vibe coming from them saying that they don’t, I’ll never hear the “I love you” part. A lot of those vibes are just my perceptions based on my limiting beliefs so its important to distinguish when the vibe is the right one or when it is me myself inventing stuff. Anyway, it is a baggage, but I still love being a feeling person, I think it helps in a lot of situations.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

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old friends March 5, 2010 at 1:58 am

wow, ma cher, lana… please don’t let us go, the silly small people. we just realized your greateness…give us a chance to deserve you again… ah, screw it…we’re no good at sarcasm … leave this sect of what looks like seven to eight maniac depressives and come back to us, your old friends… pls?

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Lana March 5, 2010 at 8:42 am

hmm..old friends without a name. I’ll stick with a sect for now, but thanks for asking:)
.-= Lana´s last blog ..Here comes Daring Clarity… =-.

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