Comments on: if you want to go There, you have to leave Here first

By: Lana

Lana — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:42:26 +0000

hmm..old friends without a name. I'll stick with a sect for now, but thanks for asking:) .-= Lana´s last blog ..Here comes Daring Clarity… =-.

By: old friends

old friends — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 01:58:42 +0000

wow, ma cher, lana… please don’t let us go, the silly small people. we just realized your greateness…give us a chance to deserve you again… ah, screw it…we’re no good at sarcasm … leave this sect of what looks like seven to eight maniac depressives and come back to us, your old friends… pls?

By: Business portrait «The Perfect Photo Blog

Business portrait «The Perfect Photo Blog — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:40:23 +0000

[...] thinking and getting in the flow by knowing yourself. For example, a recent post begins with “If you want to go There, you have to leave Here first“. Studio business [...]

By: Lana

Lana — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 04:33:29 +0000

Monica, I so hear you about being a feeling person. Someone can tell me that they love me, but if there is some subtle vibe coming from them saying that they don't, I'll never hear the "I love you" part. A lot of those vibes are just my perceptions based on my limiting beliefs so its important to distinguish when the vibe is the right one or when it is me myself inventing stuff. Anyway, it is a baggage, but I still love being a feeling person, I think it helps in a lot of situations. .-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

By: Monica

Monica — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:49:07 +0000

Hi Lana!
I hear you loud and clear on the “fit in or not welcome.” Time to let go!!
The degrees are good to point out and give me more to think about…I think my friend falls into support but not in sync!
As a “feeling” person I am sometimes too tuned into the subtle body language that occurs in conversation> This body plane is sometimes as loud and the verbal plane and I sense whether a dialog is in tune or not. Add that to baggage and…well you know!
I’ll hop over to your next post and continue to learn…thanks!!

By: Lana

Lana — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:43:45 +0000

Wow, Monica, thank you so much for your comment, I truly enjoyed reading it and got lots of insights. I totally agree, there is value in appreciating things for what they are, loving and accepting what you’ve got here and now. If you read my next followup post, you’ll see how much I agree with you.

I probably didn’t explain it in the post, but with this particular friendship I felt I either had to fit or was not welcomed. That’s the difference for me.

I am totally ok with those who just don’t support and don’t understand me. Yes, of course, I’d love to be supported and understood and appreciated for who I am and what I do(Ego), but I don’t expect all of my friends to do it and we still have good times together. I just don’t talk much about what I do, but when I do, they don’t ridicule it.

With that friendship it was different.
I think there are several degrees here:

those who completely in sync with you and support you (I wish I had more of those!)
those who are not in sync with you, but still support you (great!)
those who don’t support but accept(I am OK with them)
those who don’t support nor accept and openly show it (I choose to let them go)
.-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

By: Monica

Monica — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:56:55 +0000

Hi Lana,
Maybe a different perspective,
I’m not sure if I know anyone in alignment with who I want to be…
I have had a similar issue with a friend for years. We don’t discuss things in depth. Mostly surface talk . I have often felt that she is not interested in what I’m passionate about (because she does not engage in conversation about these things) and I often feel dis-satisfied with time spent with her.

I have struggled with the idea of letting the friendship go, and many times wished I had more (or any) friends who share similar passions (or in alignment)

Then I started “letting go” and I realized that when I feel dismayed by the relationship it is often due to a deep insecurity that, by her not engaging me in conversation about something I’m excited about, she is not validating my life experience. When I let the insecure feeling pass rather than redirecting the emotion (on to her) I find I have more room to accept her as she is. In the higher sense, I (Self) am OK regardless of what she thinks about what I’m up to.
I think it’s valuable to make time and space for new things, but there is also value in appreciating things for what they are, I think friends can be good friends even if they do not share our passions. I may have a little less time for them but I can still enjoy them.
The challenge is discerning between that which is truly not supportive (minimizing) rather than just a difference in life goals. I can still go There as long as I am not attached to bringing people with me.
I had to sit on this for a bit before I wrote…thanks for discussing this. I would love your thoughts.

By: Who are your teachers? | ♥Uplift Antidote

Who are your teachers? | ♥Uplift Antidote — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:16:23 +0000

[...] read a post over at Lana’s blog the other day which spoke about out-growing a friendship: If you want to go there you have to leave here first. It’s sad when that happens but sometimes it is [...]

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:36:01 +0000

Your lesson today is very important. We truly can ‘t be there if we are here. We do need to be aware of that which we need to let go of. I am reminded of a hot air balloon and how one must drop off the weighted bags for the baloon to rise higher. What once served us may now be the very thing that is holding us down. A wise post, thanks.

By: Lana

Lana — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:47:54 +0000

@Tess, it is so great to view it as a gift to both parties, that's exactly how I am going to view it from now on. Thank you Tess! @Nadia, I totally agree, the company does rub off on us, so we have to choose people who surround us wisely. Thank you for commenting Nadia! .-= Lana´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.