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One Of The Top Limiting Beliefs That Causes You To Fail… and No, It Is Not What You Think It Is

I bet you heard about limiting beliefs if you’ve been into personal growth and development for any time at all.

Everyone around you tells you that your beliefs determine your reality.

Everyone around you also tells you that most of those beliefs were picked up while you were a child. Your subconscious was very vulnerable at the time and like a sponge absorbed everything you were surrounded with.

Your beliefs about money, relationships, self image, people around you and world in general mostly come from your childhood.

So if your childhood was not perfect like most of ours wasn’t, …well, you are screwed up.

I am quite familiar with the topic.

I was born in a wonderful country that has amazing people but most of us from that country have tons of limiting beliefs (guys, my dear friends from the motherland:), I know you are reading this but rarely comment. Shout at me if I am wrong)

The country was previously called Soviet Union. I was born in Moscow Russia there but most of my childhood was spent in Tashkent Uzbekistan, one of the poorest republics of former Soviet Union. It is still very poor.

The average salary in the country is $100/mo (may be it went up to $150 since I last visited). The funny part is that the prices on most things are the same if not higher than we have here in US. How people survive is still a mystery to me.

Anyway, back to my beliefs, in a country like this the official belief about money is that you can’t make enough money to be rich unless you are doing something dishonest. Good and honest people can’t make money. Period.

I was told about tons of other limitations. You can’t. You shouldn’t. It won’t work. You have to be modest. Don’t talk about yourself, don’t talk about your talents, that’s bragging.

Passions? I don’t think anyone ever asked me about my passions. Maybe I was asked what I was good at. But doing something you are passionate about and trying to make a living doing it – this concept just doesn’t exist in the circle I came from.  Start your own business? Are you kidding?

I won’t go into other beliefs my upbringing and heritage gave me,  you get the picture.

I wouldn’t want to be born or raised anywhere else, there were 1000 times more good stuff than bad.

The point is – when I talk about limiting beliefs – I really got it!

Now everyone tells that you have to work through your limiting beliefs. You have to get to the core of the issues, find patterns etc. . And if you can’t make money in your business, most likely it is because of your beliefs. If you keep attracting wrong partners, again, check your beliefs. That’s how our reality works pretty much.

It’s all true and I wholeheartedly believe in that also. It’s all about our beliefs. Our beliefs cause our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our feelings. Our feelings affect our actions. And hopefully we all know that our actions determine our results in life.

That’s the mechanism. Makes total sense and that’s what the whole personal growth industry is built on.

So where am I leading you?

To the fact that one of the top limiting beliefs you have is the belief that you have tons of limiting beliefs.

It might be sitting somewhere in the back of your mind. But that’s what I see over and over again in people.

We almost started using the fact that we have limiting beliefs as an excuse for us to not being able to do something. Tons of energy is spent on finding and eliminating those beliefs. Tons of time is wasted thinking about them.

And, please, don’t think that I am against all of that.

I am all for awareness. I am all for conscious living. That’s what I preach every day.

Seeing your negative patterns and letting go of the beliefs that caused those patterns is a huge part of conscious living.

What I am against though is when we start using our limiting beliefs as an excuse.

Oh, my parents were divorced, now I can’t find a perfect partner. Oh, I have so many limiting beliefs about money, I have to work through all of them before I can make my business work and become profitable.

Awareness is good and useful.

Living on autopilot without even noticing your negative patterns is bad.

But using something as an excuse, wasting tons of energy and time thinking about your limiting beliefs and how screwed up you are because of them is bad too.

There is a fine line between awareness and using your limiting beliefs as an excuse for your failures.

And most importantly I see people subconsciously expecting failures because they think they have limiting beliefs. That’s what I was doing for a long time in my life.

Let it go. Yes, you might have had screwed up childhood, your parents might have not supported or praised you enough, your classmates at school might have bullied you and destroyed your self confidence.

You are aware of it. You know the enemy in the face.

Now let it go. Consciously decide to let it go.

There tons of people out there who achieved so much despite  screwed up childhood and tons of negative experiences they went through.  And a lot of them didn’t even know what limiting beliefs are. They simple decided one day that they were going to get what they wanted. Period.

So how do you let go of the limiting belief about you having tons of limiting beliefs?(funny, isn’t it? that’s what too much thinking leads us to ) Those are the three simple steps:

1.  Let go. Stop looking for limitations. Stop finding excuses for your failures. Simply accept them and move on.

2.  Get clear on what you want. What is it that you truly want? What is it that you were born to do here? What would you do if you couldn’t fail? Find your true desires aligned with who you are.

3.  Commit. Stop wiggling around. Stop looking for more answers. Commit to Your Vision. If it resonates with you, commit to it. Being open to better options is not the same as being constantly in a state of : “I am not sure, let me look for something else”. Those are two totally different things. The World can’t start sending you opportunities until you are fully clear and committed.

Once you are truly clear and committed a lot of your limiting beliefs won’t have any effect on you anymore. They will simply become obsolete. True clarity and commitment can do that for you.

So what are your limiting beliefs? Can you let them go and actually not even worry about them anymore? Deal with them when they come up, but release the worry about them from your mind.

Can you get fully clear and committed to making your Vision a reality?

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{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Furaha March 24, 2010 at 7:23 am

Thank you Lana, this is a timely article for me. Now, I let go.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 8:23 am

I am glad it was timely for you Furaha:)

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Lance March 24, 2010 at 9:59 am

Lana,
Very nicely written. Limiting beliefs DO hold us back from what is possible. And when we can move beyond them…what a great place to be.

And I’m glad you brought up awareness, also – as I too see this as a real key to our personal growth. When we are aware, we are then able to look and see truly where we are.
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Thank you Lance:)

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Anastasiya March 24, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Hi Lana,
you know that I can totally relate to you about the growing-up thing and having all those silly beliefs hammered into my head. I personally have never paid much attention to those beliefs and I guess this is the reason why I had courage to get where I am right now.
I think that you wrote a very helpful post that a lot of unhappy people should read and follow word by word.
.-= Anastasiya´s last blog ..A Chilled-Out Plan to Stop Being Over-Productive =-.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Thank you Anastasiya, I knew you could relate:)

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JB King March 24, 2010 at 1:37 pm

How do you know that you really let go and now just that you said, “I let go of..”?

I do understand the idea that for some people one of the top limiting beliefs is that they have a limiting belief and what they want is beyond that. I used to be there, but then I think back to how so many people said I wouldn’t become something or I couldn’t do this or that, yet somehow I did get my life to where it is.

Currently, my biggest want is to get healthy. Yes, this will be a great challenge in my life, enough that yesterday at a doctor’s appointment I was in tears and used more than a few tissues in my 90+ minute appointment that was my first time seeing this doctor.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Hi JB, I am so sorry and I wish you to get healthy very very soon!!

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Iyabo Asani March 24, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Lana, what an awesome post. I love that you said it is a limiting belief that you have to get over so many limiting beliefs.

I can relate to your story. I also grew up in a different part of the world. I have to come to realize that they way I grew up did affect my beliefs about money. For me, being aware of that was the most liberating thing in the world. Awareness for me is about 99% of the journey and then just laughing at it and letting it go is the other part.

Thanks

Iyabo
.-= Iyabo Asani´s last blog ..Mind Your Own Business =-.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 6:19 pm

You are right Iyabo, awareness often is more than enough!

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Veggie Val March 24, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Love this post, Lana. Very good of you to share your personal experience. It’s too bad that even a great, prosperous nation can teach limiting beliefs. Keep up the positive words.
.-= Veggie Val´s last blog ..Big Cheese Eats The Bunny =-.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Thanks Veggie Val, you are right, it’s possible anywhere.

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Therese Miu March 24, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Love Love Love this Lana:
“To the fact that one of the top limiting beliefs you have is the belief that you have tons of limiting beliefs.” I was smiling as I read through your entire post.

I have become aware of these limiting beliefs and the best I can do is become a role model to my son. These days I am more on focused path to live out my purpose. To do what I love, what I’m GREAT at, and accomplish what’s important to me. Also being in complete alignment with what makes me alive, happy, joyful, and loved.

That’s a legacy I want to leave behind for him. Not lack of or more thoughts of limiting beliefs…

Thanks for your post Lana. I love your writing 😉

*Cheers*
Your Friend always
.-= Therese Miu´s last blog ..Why Blog is better than a static website? =-.

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Lana March 24, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Thank you Therese, you are a great mother! And I love your comments:)

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Nichole March 24, 2010 at 11:16 pm

Great post, Lana. I’m finding that I’m devouring your posts like I would devour dessert! I think the greatest power we have is to decide. Once you decide, everything else is secondary. To decide what to think about, to decide what to do, is very powerful. I think that in this country, we tend to use indecision as a crutch. We say we don’t know what to do, when what we really mean is that we don’t want to make the hard choice to pick a team and play for it. Indecision, like our limiting beliefs, is comfortable and familiar. Thanks again for giving me something to think about!

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 5:32 am

Nichole, dear, you gave me the best compliment – devouring my posts like a desert, I am very flattered, thank you!

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Baker March 25, 2010 at 1:09 am

Excellent blog post. Limiting beliefs seem to come from the past of what most of us were conditioned to believe as facts. The process of getting passed these ideas may be challenging, but it really is just a matter of how willing the indvidual is wanting to change their lives for the better.

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 5:33 am

totally right Baker, how much they want change, that’s all it’s about.

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J.D. Meier March 25, 2010 at 7:16 am

It’s funny how flipping the switch can make things happen.

Deciding is way different than talking yourself into something. I love the fact that we can make those life changing decisions, independent of any past and independent of any present, and all about creating the future we decide to create for ourselves. It’s empowering.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Success Stories for Getting Results =-.

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 9:26 am

It is empowering, JD!

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Farouk March 25, 2010 at 8:20 am

one of the biggest limiting beliefs is believing that you have limiting beliefs, i like the idea of the post Lana, procrastinators seem to be professional in finding the next excuse that prevents them from working and this seems to be another good one, thanks for pointing it out 🙂

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 9:27 am

yes, that’s what procrastination is all about:) thanks for commenting Farouk!

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Cheryl Paris March 25, 2010 at 9:15 am

Dear Lana,

Wonderfully written. We have to learn to let go the things. Unless, we do we will not move forward. Time flies fast and hanging on to things long enough is like stagnant water which is waste.

Bye for now,
Cheryl
.-= Cheryl Paris´s last blog ..How We Grew With An Acorn- N is for… =-.

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 9:27 am

I like your metaphors Cheryl:), thanks for stopping by and commenting!

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Nadia - Happy Lotus March 25, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Hi Lana,

Limiting beliefs are like a deadly disease that just keeps people stuck in their misery.

Good for you for seeing those beliefs and working through them. Anything in life is possible and it all begins with a thought. Of course, believing in ourselves is important too.

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Hi Nadia, great to see you! Believing in ourselves is very important. Hope all is great!

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Tess The Bold Life March 25, 2010 at 4:52 pm

You are so right Lana, we use them as excuses.

One of my daughters said recently that we didn’t teach them about money. Now I partly agree with this because we were married so young and we were discovering the answers ourselves as we went along.

On the other hand we did some amazing things like we are now in our late 50’s and married 38 years. During that time together we’ve had only 2 new cars. Right now mine is 10 years old. Why because we saved money buying used cars and taking care of them. We wanted no part of monthly payments. Added together over the years we saved a ton of money in that one way.

That’s an example to me of how actions speak louder than words. I love my daughters more than life itself. I can also see when they make excuses. I can only put this because they don’t read blogs:)

But don’t get me wrong I still have my own excuses I use in certain areas of life. That’s what I need to focus on and that’s why I read your blog.
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..My Dad and His Tool Shop =-.

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Lana March 25, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Thank you Tess. I think we all love excuses, it’s good that we are aware of them for the most part. You are an amazing mother!

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Ben Tien March 26, 2010 at 2:51 am

Well, the biggest obstacle in reaching our dream is our limited beliefs… The limited believe often come from our family and society.. So, I think it’s very hard to change it.. However, it determine our success, so we must change!!!
.-= Ben Tien´s last blog ..Definition of Failure =-.

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Lana March 26, 2010 at 4:54 am

Must change…or just accept and let go:) Thanks for stopping by Ben.

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Marc | Black Belt Guide March 26, 2010 at 3:51 am

Lana – you have done a nice job here describing what sets most people back from moving forward. Your 3 Step approach is smart and to the point, nice work.

BTW – I find Central Asia and Uzbekistan to be simply fascinating and it is interesting to hear your thoughts of your home country. I don’t know how much your readers care but I enjoy the fact that you work that into your blogging perspective, please keep doing this.

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Lana March 26, 2010 at 4:53 am

Thanks Mark, Uzbekistan and Russia are both amazing countries. Thanks for letting me know that you enjoy when I write about this stuff, I was worried if I was getting too personal:)

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Amit Sodha - The Power Of Choice March 26, 2010 at 3:10 pm

It’s funny lana ‘coz I hear people say that more and more lately…’I have limiting beliefs about so and so’ ‘my limiting beliefs are stopping me from doing that’ etc…and it’s that belief that stops them dead in their tracks from moving further. Next time someone says that to me I’ll be sending them your way. 🙂
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..My Deepest Gratitude =-.

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Lana March 26, 2010 at 3:40 pm

haha, thanks Amit! That’s exactly what I heard a lot lately:)

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Lauren March 26, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Yes, Lana, right on!

It is so easy to slip into the excuse rather than take responsibility. How often do we say someone say: “I’m not doing it because I feel lazy and don’t want to” or “I’m with them because I like being treated poorly”. etc…You get the picture.

Excellent reminder. As adults, we get to make choices. It’s called free will!

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Lana March 26, 2010 at 8:55 pm

yes, Lauren, I am all for free will too!

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Andre Sumara March 27, 2010 at 4:03 am

Lana, happy to have just discovered your blog… great post!!

This statement rings true to me…
“… one of the top limiting beliefs you have is the belief that you have tons of limiting beliefs.”
which is now very obvious why :-).

Thank you for sharing this awareness-raising wisdom!

Peace & Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Mental Models =-.

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Greg Blencoe March 27, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Lana,

I find that the best way for me to deal with limiting beliefs (and other negative emotions like fear and worry) is to immediately shift to take some sort of action that will take me in the direction of what I want. This breaks the negative thought patterns that can go on and on and on. And then I am focused on what I want and feel good because I am taking action.

The key is to be very aware of your thoughts. Fortunately, I’ve become much better at monitoring my feelings, so I know when I need to make a shift to more positive thoughts and productive action.
.-= Greg Blencoe´s last blog ..What advice would you give an 18-year-old about life? =-.

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Lana March 29, 2010 at 2:42 am

Awareness is always the key Greg, totally agree, thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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Dragos Roua March 28, 2010 at 7:26 am

I can so totally relate to this, Lana 🙂 I was born – and still live in – Romania and part of my life was really limited. No money, no freedom of talk, no real values, no nothing. I think it’s so much difficult for people like us, who were born in such circumstances, to overcome all those limiting beliefs. But the difficulty is also part of the game, and, to be honest, a difficult victory is much more enjoyable than a simple one 🙂
.-= Dragos Roua´s last blog ..Being A Digital Nomad =-.

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Lana March 29, 2010 at 2:44 am

thank you for sharing this Dragos, I knew a lot of people from that part of the world could relate to this post!

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fatima Da March 28, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Lovely post Lana Period 🙂

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Lana March 29, 2010 at 2:45 am

Thank you Fatima:)

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Ted Schredd February 15, 2012 at 12:10 am

Lana,

Great well thought out post. Gave me some wonderful insight.. thanks!

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