Hi! I moved to a new place. I would love for you to visit me there.

Mothers and CEOs, I Dedicate This Song To You

When I got married 5 years ago I told to my husband at the time that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was so burned out at the job I had that I sincerely believed I didn’t want to ever work anymore and would be satisfied raising kids and taking care of the house.

The husband was thrilled with the idea, that was what he wanted his wife to be. The idea was nice theoretically, but didn’t last too long.  I got bored and got a job 3 months after we got married.

When my son Nicholas was born I realized that I can’t take him to daycare and I don’t trust babysitters, at least while he was little. That’s where the dilemma started. How can I be someone who is not just a stay at home mom and at the same time stay at home with my baby? Home-based business was the only logical answer. So my business started not as a result of me wanting to follow my passion. Passion came later. It started as a desire to do something meaningful in the world and stay at home with my son at the same time.

Fast forward couple years.

I tried many business models online. Made money. Lost money. Scratched everything and started over.  Rediscovered my passions. Decided to get divorced.

I burn meals. Often. I let go of the desire for everything to be clean and organized and don’t freak out anymore when the house gets messy as if it wasn’t cleaned for two weeks just two hours after I cleaned it.

I make business calls while chasing my son on the playground or playing Lego with him. I have two calendars that I update – one for business related activities, another one for our trips to the zoo, kids birthdays, children’s museum, pumpkin patches or strawberry picking. Two books that I have on my night table at the moment are – Unleashing The Ideavisrus by Seth Godin and The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman.

Life is full. And wonderful.

The thing that I realized lately is  – what I am doing is good enough. Really. It is.

I used to think that my business should be growing quicker and that I should be able to squeeze in more activities into our schedule. I even used to try and figure out how I can get by on even less sleep.

But recently I decided to relax. Yes, my business might not be growing as quickly as I’d like it to. This is the choice I made. I don’t want my son to go to a full time day care. I don’t want babysitters. That means I obviously can’t dedicate as much time to my business as I’d like to and that’s ok. I am making a progress for sure.

Being a mother and CEO might seem easy when you look at others but turns out to not be so easy when you do it all yourself. And that’s ok too.

You are doing enough.

Just relax and enjoy the ride. Get rid of the nagging “not good enough” thought in your head and decide here and now that you are enough. You truly are.

Realizing that took so much pressure and stress out of my life. I still do everything I used to do but now it feels different. I allow myself to take more breaks. I don’t feel like I am in a constant chase all the time.  I even started dating!

I feel more balanced. And you know when you are balanced your child will be much more balanced too. Which means  less meltdowns and more cooperation. Which means less stress for both of you.

Life becomes better just with one decision – decision to think of yourself as good enough.

Can you make this decision now? I bet you can. Because you really are.

P.S. I know there is too much “baby talk” on this blog lately:) I promise to get back to writing about “real” stuff soon:)

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7 Steps To Get Out of The State Of Numbness and Inaction. | Daring Clarity
June 5, 2010 at 8:53 am

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Eduard @ People Skills Decoded May 18, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Hey Lana,

Inspirational. I don’t know when and how exactly, but most of us learn to never be happy with ourselves and our lives. Like there is some danger in not being perfect. But the way I see it, life is not about being perfect, life is about enjoying it. And not ever believing your life is good enough is a great way to screw that up.

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Veggie Val May 18, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Excellent! You gave us yet another great reminder, Lana. I can attest that single-momhood is the toughest and most rewarding job EVER. Even as a married-again mom, still following her bliss, the perfectionist gremlin still lurks. Sometimes ‘good enough’ is totally fine . Obviously, I’m still learning this.

Oh, and I personally, love the “baby stuff” on your posts, too. Please don’t apologize for your great messages! <3
.-= Veggie Val´s last blog ..Plastic Bag by Ramin Bahrani =-.

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Topi May 19, 2010 at 3:53 am

Hi Lana, I too love the baby stuff, and I know that I’ve learnt so many lessons from my children, and you have as well, so share them don’t apologise for them! I love the sense of peace and joy in this post. I can tell that you are in balance, not because you say you are but because I can sense it in your writing. I am so very happy for you. As a working mother of three, I can absolutely understand the challenges you face, but it sounds like you are achieving your personal balance and that’s all that matters. Please don’t cut down on the Nicholas stories, I love them!
Topi
PS – welcome back!
.-= Topi´s last blog ..Book Review – Passionate Living: A Simple Guide To Doing What You Love, by Henri Junttila =-.

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Marina May 19, 2010 at 12:21 pm

“Success means fulfilling your own dreams, singing your own song, dancing your own dance, creating from your heart and enjoying the journey, trusting that whatever happens, it will be OK. Creating your own adventure!”
— Elana Lindquist !!!!!!!!!! And you did IT!!!!!!!!!!

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Marina @ MyBusyChildren May 19, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Hi, Lana
Marina introoduced me to your blog.
It is a good message that we are doing enough as Moms. I struggle with the working Mom’s guilt every day, even wrote a post about it when my three year old brought her “essay about Mommy” home 🙂
.-= Marina @ MyBusyChildren´s last blog ..Flip-flops Passion =-.

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Therese Miu May 19, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Really an outstanding post from you. It was very heartfelt Lana.
I have felt the same way you have for 4 years now when you said “Get rid of the nagging “not good enough” thought in your head and decide here and now that you are enough. You truly are.”

So I thank You for acknowledging this for ALL mom’s out there.

There’s always this silent nudge to do MORE and HAVE MORE time. In essence everything is working out in the highest good of all. I think it’s just being a mom that gets you the feelings of wanting to “overgive”. However, I have found out when I am more relaxed, happy, and balanced (you are right) my son does too. I have really incorporated a lot of more play time with him and doing painting, nature walk, etc.. I love your calendars sweetie. I really look up to you in ALL the THINGS YOUR DOING. Your such a phenomenal woman.
I also like that you are reading, “The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman” I love Gary Chapman 5 Love Languages and believes in it wholeheartedly. I would also recommend Deepak’s book 7 Spiritual Law of Parenting. It’s such a great book. He mentions that you know if you are raising a well-rounded and inspired child in how they happy they feel at every moment. I thought that was so COOL! Anyway thanks for sharing your story with us today.
Love you!
.-= Therese Miu´s last blog ..Thank You Mama! A Mother’s Day Wish for You =-.

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Phil - Less Ordinary Living May 19, 2010 at 5:51 pm

Lana –

What a strong message to send out to moms, CEOs and the world. I always tell myself and my clients that the most you can do is your best. You can’t control the world or anyone else – all you can do is the best in every moment and that is more than enough. Very nice post.

Phil
.-= Phil – Less Ordinary Living´s last blog ..How to avoid getting fired by George Clooney =-.

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Hotel Executive May 19, 2010 at 9:19 pm

Inspirational. I don’t know when and how exactly, but most of us learn to never be happy with ourselves and our lives. Like there is some danger in not being perfect. But the way I see it, life is not about being perfect, life is about enjoying it. And not ever believing your life is good enough is a great way to screw that up.
+1

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J.D. Meier May 20, 2010 at 4:07 pm

The ebb and flow of work and life just keeps reminding me that life’s not static … climb one hill and there’s another … so now I make it a priority to enjoy the journey as I go, and remember that there will always be highs and lows along the way … and the best thing I can do is make the most of what I’ve got, and stay “on path.”
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Tickler List of the Mind =-.

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Anastasiya May 21, 2010 at 2:44 am

Lana, this post was so much … softer than your regular ones and I truly enjoyed it. Partly because I am also a mother, partly because I have a lot in common with you (as far as lifestyle and business ideas), I felt so compelled by this post.

I guess any woman goes through a huge shift in life after she becomes a mother and motherhood puts everything in life into a different perspective.

I am glad to hear that you feel more balanced now. I guess even roller-coaster personalities can enjoy a certain degree of balance in their lives 🙂 (no irony intended.)
.-= Anastasiya´s last blog ..6 Rules of Stress Free Work/Life Balance =-.

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Tom Volkar / Delightful Work May 24, 2010 at 7:48 pm

This is a wonderful message to share with all who have great ambitions and also a desire to just live. Often we need to reflect on where we are and feel good about it. Good to see you’re still smiling and thinking highly of yourself. It’s not a compromise but a decision.
.-= Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog ..Top Ten Tips For A Confident Career Change =-.

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Tisha May 25, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Thank you Lana. Seriously. This is just what I needed to read right now. I’m a firm believer that there are no accidents, so I knew I needed to come and read your blog today…I have spent a lot of time lately thinking that I had to do more; this post has inspired me to get back to living in the present and appreciating where I am right now. Thanks for your insights and for sharing your clarity. I truly appreciate it! Your son is truly lucky to have such an amazing mom.

xo 🙂
.-= Tisha´s last blog ..Mindfulness Mondays: Action is the Path to Attraction =-.

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rob white May 26, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Hi Lana,
Great & honest sharing. I always advise people (and myself) to; always seek excellence, not perfection. Clearly you seek excellence in all your endeavors, be it blogging or parenting — but perfection will simply drive us nuts. I have found that if I continually seek excellence I can allow myself to make mistakes along the way. Imagine all the corrections and adjustments an airliner makes from Boston to California while managing to arrive at the destination safe and on time. There are no straight & perfect lines in the universe. Flexibility is an important quality if we intend to arrive at our ultimate destination.

Glad to see you are back at it with gusto!
.-= rob white´s last blog ..What does a Panda car have to do with me? =-.

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Mark June 3, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Life is all about choices! Love that you have shared yours and you now know that you are “enough”.
.-= Mark´s last blog ..Placebos – The Self Deception That Believes the Lie =-.

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Genet Giday February 3, 2011 at 9:35 am

Wow What a wonderful sharing. It is very interesting to hear from others especially “I am not good enough” thing and “the urge to do more and more” where at the end of the day you realize you did not good enough (as much as you like) you are not realized and your children are not happy. but when a mam relaxes she dose far better job and do it easily and with our tiresome. Mams Io believe we should take a rest wherever we want and do our task more. Because you can perform much better we we are relaxed and feel that there is burden.
Thank You

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Susan Harvey June 8, 2012 at 12:37 am

Lana,
Love this blog and love that you are intentional about your life. Keep writing!
Susan
http://www.journeyofgrownupblackwoman.com

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