When I got married 5 years ago I told to my husband at the time that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was so burned out at the job I had that I sincerely believed I didn’t want to ever work anymore and would be satisfied raising kids and taking care of the house.
The husband was thrilled with the idea, that was what he wanted his wife to be. The idea was nice theoretically, but didn’t last too long. I got bored and got a job 3 months after we got married.
When my son Nicholas was born I realized that I can’t take him to daycare and I don’t trust babysitters, at least while he was little. That’s where the dilemma started. How can I be someone who is not just a stay at home mom and at the same time stay at home with my baby? Home-based business was the only logical answer. So my business started not as a result of me wanting to follow my passion. Passion came later. It started as a desire to do something meaningful in the world and stay at home with my son at the same time.
Fast forward couple years.
I tried many business models online. Made money. Lost money. Scratched everything and started over. Rediscovered my passions. Decided to get divorced.
I burn meals. Often. I let go of the desire for everything to be clean and organized and don’t freak out anymore when the house gets messy as if it wasn’t cleaned for two weeks just two hours after I cleaned it.
I make business calls while chasing my son on the playground or playing Lego with him. I have two calendars that I update – one for business related activities, another one for our trips to the zoo, kids birthdays, children’s museum, pumpkin patches or strawberry picking. Two books that I have on my night table at the moment are – Unleashing The Ideavisrus by Seth Godin and The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman.
Life is full. And wonderful.
The thing that I realized lately is – what I am doing is good enough. Really. It is.
I used to think that my business should be growing quicker and that I should be able to squeeze in more activities into our schedule. I even used to try and figure out how I can get by on even less sleep.
But recently I decided to relax. Yes, my business might not be growing as quickly as I’d like it to. This is the choice I made. I don’t want my son to go to a full time day care. I don’t want babysitters. That means I obviously can’t dedicate as much time to my business as I’d like to and that’s ok. I am making a progress for sure.
Being a mother and CEO might seem easy when you look at others but turns out to not be so easy when you do it all yourself. And that’s ok too.
You are doing enough.
Just relax and enjoy the ride. Get rid of the nagging “not good enough” thought in your head and decide here and now that you are enough. You truly are.
Realizing that took so much pressure and stress out of my life. I still do everything I used to do but now it feels different. I allow myself to take more breaks. I don’t feel like I am in a constant chase all the time. I even started dating!
I feel more balanced. And you know when you are balanced your child will be much more balanced too. Which means less meltdowns and more cooperation. Which means less stress for both of you.
Life becomes better just with one decision – decision to think of yourself as good enough.
Can you make this decision now? I bet you can. Because you really are.
P.S. I know there is too much “baby talk” on this blog lately:) I promise to get back to writing about “real” stuff soon:)