Sex and Money.
I had a discussion with a friend of mine that led me to thinking about why it is the case.
Why are we not clear about sex and money? With others. And most importantly with ourselves.
Why are there so much miscommunication, hiding, shame around these two topics? Quite important topics. If not to say – vital for our survival.
Why is it often a taboo to talk about sex and money openly? Why so often we are not clear with ourselves on our thoughts and feelings regarding both? And how does it affect our growth, freedom and happiness?
Privacy? I don’t think it’s just the matter of privacy.
When Steve Pavlina started posting all over his blog and social media about his D/s explorations earlier this year, I’ll be honest, I was a bit ummm…surprised in the beginning.
And I clearly remember the first thought I had regarding the whole thing. Ego. Overindulgence of Ego.
The label was put right away.
Good thing I am quite conscious about my own reactions these days, so I stopped and reconsidered right away. I read more. I thought about it. And I realized that no, it’s not about the Ego.
One of the enlightened teachers once said: “It is Ego, that wants to get rid of the Ego.” Think about this sentence for a minute.
Steve Pavlina seems to understand it quite well. He is not resisting any part of himself. He is clear on what his desires are. He goes and gets what he wants. And he sees no need in hiding it, even though it might not fit the box of socially accepted norms and regulations. That’s Wholeness, in my opinion.
Why most of us can’t have such Clarity?
Why can’t we talk openly about our desires, frustrations, thoughts, feelings around sex and money? Where does that shame come from?
I think mostly from the belief that sex and money are not spiritual. That’s why my first reaction to Steve Pavlina and his explorations was – Ego. I think on a conscious level most of us overcame money vs spirituality block, but subconsciously it still sits inside of us.
Sex and money are the realms of Ego not Spirit.
Are they really?
Let’s look at sex and money from a spiritual perspective.
One thing that Steve Pavlina did mention many times was that D/s exploration helped him grow a lot. Because it stretched his comfort zone quite a bit. And we all know that growth is really impossible without going out of your comfort zone.
I’d add that the experience also helped him to learn more about himself and other people, which is also a vital component of growth and becoming a better and happier person.
Spirituality is all about growth. It is also all about Freedom. Our spirit wants us to go further, reach higher, learn more about ourselves. Know Thyself has been proclaimed for centuries the key to happiness and purpose driven life. It is also the key to Freedom.
Sex definitely can help us with that if we are not afraid to use it for those purposes.
Money is the same thing. How can we do anything in our society without money? They say 2012 is coming and things will change. Ummm, I don’t know. Let’s live here and now.
Right now how can we grow without money or without desire to have money? When we want to take our income to the next level, that requires a whole new set of thinking and acting. That requires going out of your comfort zone and stretching your limits.
I won’t even mention the fact that without money most of us are stuck in a rat where there is little opportunity to explore ourselves or the world around us. Without money Freedom is a hard to gain thing. Of course, there is a whole bunch of different topics that come up on how much is enough for Freedom and how to make money doing what you love etc, but those are different topics.
So how can money and sex be non spiritual?
Not only are they NOT non spiritual. They are the best and the most powerful spiritual tools for growth, self expression and happiness after all.
Your Spirit wants you to go after them. Your Spirit wants you to use them!
The question is – why don’t we use them nearly enough?
So today I invite you to talk about sex and money. No, not with me (unless you want to, of course), but with yourself.
Let’s get more Clarity, since Clarity is the most important step. After you are truly clear, everything else seems to start falling into place automatically.
Ask yourself these questions.
What do I feel and think about my current sex life? Am I stuck in a place that limits my growth? How can I better utilize sex for growth? What exactly do I want to experience? What new things do I want to try? What needs to change in my current reality in order for me to experience that?
Am I happy with my financial situation? How much more money do I want?(be specific). How much do I want to make a week, a month, a year? How much do I want to save? How much do I want to spend and on what?
Get truly clear.
What can I start doing to reach my goals?
So often we say – I want more money. And then life sends us a dollar and we are not happy. That’s exactly what you asked for! Be specific. Get truly clear. Be honest with yourself. If you are not meeting your financial goals, say – “Yes, it sucks”
Admit your current situation first. And then get truly clear on what you want changed and what you are going to start doing to change it.
Remember, Clarity is often 90% of the deal if not more. Once you are truly clear, your mind starts sending you ideas and noticing opportunities. Most importantly you start taking action.
Some people say: “I want to get clear but what if it is not exactly what I want?”
That’s where the growth component comes into play. You might fail. You might get it just to find out that it is not really the right thing for you. But you’ll grow. And you’ll get clearer. And you’ll get closer to what you truly do want.
And your Spirit, your Higher Self will be happy because you are not sitting still, you are moving, you are making a progress, you are taking risks and you are growing. That’s what you came here to this Earth to do.
And now would be a great time for me to blog about my sex and money goals, desires, thoughts and feelings. I won’t say much today. One thing I’ll say though is that I am on the way to making as much money as I want/need and I am taking the necessary steps and risks. I let go of fear and I am committed to going out of my comfort zone. Not there yet and it does suck (I wish things were happening quicker…..like overnight would be nice), but I am clear and I am making a progress. Most importantly I immensely enjoy the process and feel that I am living my purpose, have meaning and am close to freedom.
Sex. The next person I will be with is going to be very open minded, creative and highly conscious about the topic. I don’t promise to blog about my explorations and experiences (I might, if there are some valuable lessons to be shared) but I do promise to be very clear with myself.
Now is your turn. Get clear.