I used to think that we all want to be accepted. Isn’t it why we do most of the things that we do – try to lose weight, try to make more money, find love, become a better person.
One way or another we are doing all of that to be accepted and approved by others.
This desire is ingrained in our brain. We want acceptance, we want approval.
Avatar changed this for me though. Awesome movie by the way, highly recommend it.
“I see you”.
This phrase struck me in the heart.
This is the phrase the people of Pandora used in the movie to greet each other – I see you.
Forget acceptance. This is what we all want – to be seen. We want to be clearly seen. We want to be seen for who we are. Acceptance is great but being clearly seen is so much more important.
Not convinced? Would you rather people see who you truly are, what is special about you, how you are different… or accepted and approved you? Ideally it would be great to have both, but I think if we had to choose we’d always choose to be clearly seen than accepted.
I had a person in my life who loved to argue with me. He used to want to prove that I was wrong all the time. He did not accept me.
But he saw me. He knew even the small things about me that made me special and different. He saw me for who I truly was and I loved it.
Being clearly seen makes us feel special. It makes us feel that we are making a difference in this world by being a part of it, that the world wouldn’t be complete if we were not here.
Want to make people happy? See them. See unto them.
Look into their eyes. Actually listen to what they have to say. Be present. Don’t rush.
Ask yourself–what is unique about this person? What does he want to be noticed for? You’ll hear the answers. We are all one anyway, you’ll know what it is if you ask.
Even with total strangers, just ask yourself and listen. You’ll hear the answer. You’ll know what they want to be noticed for.
It might be something very small, but if you notice that small feature about them, you’ll make their day.
Change your focus from yourself to that person. But don’t fake it. Truly care.
Most importantly, repeat to yourself – I see you. If there is not enough time or you don’t know what to say, you don’t have to speak, just look at them and send the signal silently – I see you.
They’ll feel it. They will know it.
And they will want to return the favor. And you’ll make each other a little bit happier. And you’ll make the day a little bit brighter. And you’ll make the world a better place to live.
Just see the person in front of you.
It might be your friend or your partner or a cashier at the store. See them. See unto them.
By the way – I see you. And I think you are pretty awesome.