Hi! I moved to a new place. I would love for you to visit me there.

Project: Alive. Day 2. When do you feel like you are wasting your time?

Here is the paradox.

We want to do what makes us feel alive. We really do. It feels good to be alive. But we run away from it. There are other things on our to do lists. Other priorities.

I don’t know where we learned this weird way to prioritize.

Guilt is an important thing to watch out for. Guilt that says – you need to be doing something else, you are wasting your time.

It is so important to be productive in our culture. But what if we tried to slow down and shift our priorities from our to do lists to what our soul wants us to do lists. Maybe the to do list would get tackled faster as a result. And maybe we’ll get more creative and our big and bold dream won’t look as big and bold anymore. And will become quite doable. And we’ll start taking steps toward it. All because we allowed ourselves to slow down and pay more attention to things that make us feel alive before we pay attention to anything else.

When do you feel guilty doing something? When do you get the you are wasting your time kind of thoughts?

Yesterday I wrote that one of the things that make me feel alive is reading books that inspire me. It was hard for me to see it at first because I haven’t really read in a long time. I have tons of books that I started and never finished. I have tons of books in my head that I want to read. But I don’t read. And even if I allow myself to do it once in a while, I do it in a hurry. I don’t allow myself to fully enjoy it.

My plate is full right now with two babies to take care of.  I have a long list of to dos and reading is not on it. I don’t make time for it. I don’t remember when was the last time I dedicated the whole evening to curling up on the coach with a cup of tea and a book. Even thinking about it makes me feel weird. I have so many other things to do, are you kidding me?

So I didn’t even think of reading as one of my alives at first. But then I started remembering things that I feel guilty about if I ever allow myself to do them . Things that I love, but rush through. Because they are not my “priorities”. And it lead me to reading.

Did you make the list of your alives yesterday?

Today we are still working on it.

Think of when you get the – I am wasting my time, I should be doing something else kind of thoughts. What activities provoke those thoughts?  Is there your alive hiding somewhere there?

Obviously, if you are on Facebook and your mind is screaming – this is not what you need to be spending your time on, maybe you should listen.

Keep brainstorming today. Keep watching your feelings closely. Keep thinking of your alives and writing them down.

Tomorrow we’ll start dissecting each alive and figuring out what the right way to handle it is.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

R July Tang May 15, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Wah…you’re getting close, Lana!


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