Hi! I moved to a new place. I would love for you to visit me there.

You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals.

you are not reponsible for your life, ramesh balsekarMost of our unhappiness and frustration in life occurs because we are either unhappy with other people, specifically other people not acting the way we expected them to.  

Or  we are unhappy with ourselves, the way we act, think, feel or speak.

Remember when you were upset last time.  Most likely it was because someone did something you didn’t like or you yourself did something you didn’t like. Even when you are unhappy with other things. 

For example, you don’t have enough money.  If you dig deeper most likely what really makes you unhappy is your boss who won’t give you a raise or you yourself for procrastinating and not taking the necessary action to make more money.

One way or another your unhappiness comes from someone doing something wrong. You blame others or yourself. Why do you blame them? Because they are responsible for their actions, right? Why do you blame yourself? Because you are responsible.

If no one was responsible there would be no one to blame. No one to blame, nothing to get upset at. Well, you will still get upset, but it will be a different feeling. You will let it go right away and move on.

OK, that leads me to a cornerstone in personal development.

Responsibility.

You are responsible for your actions and so is everyone else.  That’s what personal development is all about, right? 

Without responsibility there would be no point in trying to improve and grow yourself.  If you are not responsible for anything, why bother? Taking full responsibility for your life is the first step in changing it for the better, right? That’s what I always thought.

But what if not? What if you are not responsible? And no one else is? What if you are not responsible for your thoughts, your actions, your words and no one else is either? Scary, huh? Where would it lead us?

To happiness actually. Complete and never ending happiness. Pure bliss. 

There would be no expectations. If no one is responsible, there is nothing to expect from anyone. Your neighbor can be whatever he wants to be, there is no way for you to be unhappy with him because you don’t expect him to act in any certain way. How can you?  He is not responsible anyway.

Before you decide that I have completely lost my mind let me explain. Everything you just read were not my words.

I watched an interview with the enlightened master Ramesh Balsekar. He talked about happiness.  That’s what enlightenment is all about after all – being completely happy and at peace with every moment.

Why do we try to improve ourselves? To be happy.  That’s exactly why we do everything we do in life – try to make money, get married, get divorced, read blogs like this one, write blogs like this one, try to lose weight, try to gain weight, set goals, take action – to be happy and enjoy life.

Well, apparently we are trying way too hard. All we have to do is take off responsibility and just assume that no one is responsible for anything.

With this will come acceptance. Acceptance will bring awareness. Awareness will bring clarity and living in tune with your Highest Self. And with this will come happiness.

Simple isn’t it? What do you think? I’ll tell you what I think in a minute.

Genetics and Conditioning.

Balsekar explained it this way – what determines most of our actions are genetics and conditioning. I agree with that. Genetics determine a lot of our physical and intellectual abilities. Conditioning or certain beliefs we formed while growing up determine most of our thoughts and actions. Our results in life of course depend on all of the above.

Did we choose our genetics and conditioning? In other words did we choose where to be born and when? No, we didn’t. Then we cannot be responsible for anything.

And we can all be happy just by realizing it. Happy right now. Again, not my words, but how logical!

The lessons I learned.

Well, let me finally tell you what I think. Most of us are not enlightened yet, but we can still take away so much from the interview. What I took from this interview was the following:

1. Everything should be taken much lighter. Expectations should be set, in my opinion, but mostly expectations in life, not in others. Expect that your life will take care of you no matter what. Expect the best.

Expect the best from others, but don’t get attached to details. Others tend to not act the exact way we expect them to act. By expecting them to do certain things, we just make ourselves unhappy.

Someone didn’t do what they promised to do? Let go. Don’t judge. Don’t dwell on it. You are sending a negative vibe toward that person this way.  He/she will feel it subconsciously and start acting even worse toward you. Just let go and think that they are not completely responsible. They acted based on their conditioning and genetics.

You yourself didn’t perform up to your standards? Forgive yourself and let go. Don’t beat yourself up. Continue striving to become better but at the same time accept the fact that you act this way because some Higher Power wanted you to.

The same Higher Power that determined when and where you’ll be born, the same that determined your conditioning and genetics. That Higher Power probably knew what it was doing. Your soul is connected to that Higher Power and making mistakes is what your soul needs to grow.

2. Since conditioning is playing such a huge role in everything you do, try to get rid of its burden as much as possible. The more conscious you become, the better you’ll be able to act based on your conscious choices, not the beliefs you formed while growing up.

Notice your thoughts and ask: “Why am I thinking that? Is it really so or do I act based on some limiting belief of mine?” Stop and make a conscious choice. You’ll regret much less.

3. I truly think that living assuming less responsibility in some ways (not in everything) can actually help you in reaching many goals. Since you take things much lighter and don’t care as much, you don’t let fears stand in the way of taking action toward your goal.

Fears come into play when the goal is too important. Taking it lighter will actually help to just take action toward it. The desire transforms into pure intention.

Pure Intention.

Pure intention is when you want to go to the store and buy milk. You don’t think, worry, procrastinate or sabotage yourself in any other way because of your unconscious fears whether you can do it or not. You just go to the store and get milk. That’s pure intention.

Taking your goals lighter and assuming no responsibility will help with that. You just take action, you don’t think and overanalyze. Then take another action and another one.  Isn’t that what we all wish we could do more effectively toward all important goals of ours?

Why to get out of bed in the morning?

The interviewer asked Balsekar – if we are not responsible, what’s the point of getting out of bed in the morning? Balsekar laughed and said: “You’ll get off the bed because you can’t not.”

No responsibility according to him is not about not doing anything, but about letting go of expectations that come with responsibility and as a result being at peace with your life and being happy. You still do everything you think needs to be done. You have goals, you take action, you live but you feel much lighter. You are at peace no matter what comes.

You are happy.

You become pure intention. And pure intention can create miracles.

What do you think? Let me know.

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assigning blame @ Freedom on a Budget
November 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Anastasiya December 16, 2009 at 10:53 pm

I think that responsibility is the quality that I value the most in other people and in me personally. I’ve had so many cases in my life when a person was not responsible and sabotaged some serious project or put me in a difficult situation. These weren’t pleasant situation, however I’ve learned that the only person i can truly rely on in any situation is me. There is not point in blaming anybody else for any problems that I have in my life (after all these complaints won’t change anything, will they?)
I personally love being responsible and I do not consider it as a burden. I get up in the morning and do things because “I can’t not.” I find pleasure and happiness in most of my daily routines. I am not doing things to please somebody or to adhere to social norms. I am completely at peace.
If other people would treat life and responsibility the same way then I am sure we will ave more enlightened and happy people around the world. However, I also believe that a person should be disciplined in the first place to start the practice of “no-responsibility.” A weak person can fall into the traps of addictions, laziness and procrastination and he/she will be a burden to him/herself and to the world.
I am trying to say that you have to be at a certain point of enlightenment and discipline before you can start cutting back n responsibilities in your life.
Great article Lana, very thought-provoking.
.-= Anastasiya´s last blog ..6 Life-Changing Lessons Learned in 6 Months of Raising 3 Babies =-.

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Steven Aitchison December 17, 2009 at 6:29 am

Lana great post. I wouldn’t necessarily agree about letting go of responsibility, I can see where you are coming from but you have to have a certain amount of discipline to let go, that might sound paradoxical but I believe it’s true. It’s like a rich person saying ‘The money doesn’t really matter, it’s happiness that counts’ without the money they wouldn’t be as happy due to the choices they have in life etc.

With responsibility, you need something to be responsible for before you can let go of the outcome. If someone is an alcoholic with no job, no family, no friends, he is not responsible for anything in life but himself, and he has lost control of that responsibility due to the alcohol.

I like the idea of this and can see how it will be useful for a lot of people, but as I said you need some responsibility before you can let go of it.

Great post, and one that made me sit up and think.
.-= Steven Aitchison´s last blog ..The Key To Become Charismatic =-.

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Lana December 17, 2009 at 6:41 am

Anastasiya, you put it perfectly, the person should be on a certain level of consciousness to take on this practice and I you are right discipline and responsibilty in the first place can lead to that next stage. Thank you for your thorough comment.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Lana December 17, 2009 at 6:45 am

Steven, thanks for the comment, what you said is very close to Anastasiya’s comment above and I totally agree, the person who is on the low level of consciousness just like the alcohol addict you described can’t go straight to no-responsibility, no-attachment place right away. He has to find that responsibilty in the first place to be able to let it go when it doesn’t serve you as well any more.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Beat Schindler December 17, 2009 at 7:27 am

The way I see it, to believe your actions are predetermined (by genetics and conditioning) is a self-fulfilling prophecy, in the same way as the belief you are the master of the moments of your life is a self-fulfilling prophecy, too. It’s not a matter of truth, but a matter of choice. Is choice important? As long as our means are also our ends, our choices aren’t important. Meaning, if the purpose of enlightenment is enlightenment, or of knowledge is knowledge, or of happiness is happiness, there being no consequence, who cares one way or another? By contrast, if the purpose of say happiness is action, then choice is important, I guess … unless choice is pre-determined in the same way as the action it leads to.

Hmm, your article makes one think 🙂 I’ve heard it said no-one would ever wash a rental car, but I see people spend money and time on the cars they own. Makes me think ownership does make a difference. In relation to life it’s “only” stewardship anyway. Maybe stewardship takes care of both, the pre-determined and what’s yet to be determined?
.-= Beat Schindler´s last blog ..Tale Of A Special Tiger =-.

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Lana December 17, 2009 at 7:39 am

Beat, thanks for the comment. May be you are right and it is about finding balance in what’s predetermined and what’s not.
Balsekar in the interview actually answered this question, he said that we we’ll never know what is predetermined and what is not and that’s how it is supposed to be. Otherwise if we knew, again there probably wouldn’t be any sense in getting off the bed in the morning:)
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Amit Sodha - The Power Of Choice December 17, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Hey Lana,

You’ve certainly got me thinking and I understand where you’re coming from. I might reserve my deeper thoughts on this for now and come back to this later.

It kind of reminds me of something in Conversations With God where it’s said that if there were no rules, and nothing to say you were commiting a crime, would people still act in the same way they do now? I don’t believe they would. Absolutely autonomy would lead in someway to absolute self responsibility without there actually being any…if that makes sense.

Thanks Lana! xxx
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..4 Years And 6 Key Lessons From Blogging =-.

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Armen Shirvanian December 17, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Hey Lana.

This is a healthy way to think about it. When we think we are responsible for many things we are not interested in being responsible for, we get slowed down in a big way. We start having thoughts that take up our energy, and no one else sees those thoughts, so they think we are just slower in general. It is better to take on only the right things, and say no gladly and energetically when something doesn’t fit us. We eventually end up canceling on those things that don’t fit us anyway.

Good call about sticking with intention.
.-= Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..You Don’t Know What Works Until You Fully Try =-.

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Lana December 18, 2009 at 1:31 am

Great example Amit, I totally understand what you are saying, thanks for commenting!

Armen thanks, I think you always explain everything really logically, what you said makes so much sense.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Anne December 18, 2009 at 8:20 pm

That’s a very interesting post, and while I may not agree with everything in it, I do agree with some points you make. In terms of responsibility, I do think you need to take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions. Are other people responsible for your thoughts and actions? No, and they shouldn’t be. We cannot control what other people do, and cannot expect them to take responsibility. However, I do think it is important that we take responsibility for ourselves. Responsibility for the thoughts we think. Responsibility for the happiness, abundance, health and wealth we want from the Universe. We are all creators and what we think creates what we experience. We need to be responsible, otherwise, how could we pat ourselves on the back when we accomplish anything great? I also think that we do chose the circumstances in which we are born….but perhaps that’s a discussion for another time! I enjoyed reading your take on this Lana!
.-= Anne´s last blog ..Using The Law of Attraction For You =-.

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Jay Zuck December 18, 2009 at 9:26 pm

At first, I could not believe what you were saying and my immediate reaction to the whole premise of eliminating the concept of responsibility seemed preposterous to me. Then, I got to the part about pure intention and thinking about my life the times were I have been most creative, most productive, and yes most happy have been when I just do. In that context, I couldn’t help, but think I may have been putting too much stock in the notion of responsibility although I have a hard time letting go of it entirely. I think I will have to marinate on this some more.
.-= Jay Zuck´s last blog ..JZSOTD Belated One Year Anniversary, Art School Graduation Retrospective, and Giveaway =-.

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Lana December 18, 2009 at 9:38 pm

Anne, thank you for the comment, I am actually exactly where you are in terms of responsibilty. I guess what I was trying to emphasize in this post was the letting go of expectations and certain outcomes which is what we need to be happy and to create our life with less effort.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Lana December 18, 2009 at 9:43 pm

Thank you Jay, I agree we are most productive and creative when we just take action but for whatever reason it mostly happens either when we don’t care as much or we just have no other choice. In normal circumstances when we really want something but at the same time have other choices we tend to let fears, procrastination, worries etc. sabotage us. That’s why letting go of some responsibilty might help because it will make us not so attached to certain outcome.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Ralph December 20, 2009 at 10:51 am

Nice post. But like most of the comments here I must say that I don’t agree with some of it. To me responsibility is a beautiful thing. For myself and I find it attractive in the people I meet.

In my personal life, the people who are take responsibility for their actions will get much more help from me.
Whenever I speak at a high school or university, the student that comes up to me afterward, tells me their story of where they want to be in 10 years and tells me their plan, will get a speedy reply from me when they send me an email asking for advice.
I will also reward any of my assistants that take such much responsibility for their assignments that I wonder if I am still running the company.

Just my take on it. Thanks for stirring the thoughts in my mind 🙂

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Lana December 20, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Ralph thanks for the comment, I am actually the same, I love people who are responsible for their actions and am really annoyed by those who don’t. That’s why the interview got me thinking.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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JACQUI JONES December 20, 2009 at 10:26 pm

Hi Lana. I got a bit confused at the point you were trying to make. To me, I like to take responsibility for myself and understand that others will be what they are. It’s good to let go of expectations and judgements of others, I agree. But I’m not sure what you meant by letting go of responsibility. Do you mean letting go of things we ‘should’ do, if so I agree.

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Mark December 21, 2009 at 10:38 pm

Lana,
You have written a brilliant post. What you say is correct, when we remove expectations we remove our frustrations and we achieve peace of mind. When we understand that our only true responsibility is to love and that love is our nature we then discover there are no needs for responsibilities for love will achieve all that we need or for that matter don’t need. We will begin to see that all is as it is supposed to be and when we do we know peace of mind and we lose our desire to be upset or mad or disappointed. Love is not any of these things. Love does not fear. Love knows and accepts life for what it is. May you be your true self which is love!

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Lana December 22, 2009 at 4:05 am

Jacqui, that’s exactly why I said let go responsibility because when there is no responsibility there is not expectations/attachments/judgements=no suffering.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Lana December 22, 2009 at 4:06 am

Mark thanks for the great comment – “Love knows and accepts life for what it is” – I loved it!
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Hulbert December 23, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Hi Lana. This is a really great article here. I really liked how you emphasize on responsibility as a cornerstone of personal development. I agree that it is because whatever we want our life to be, we can make it happen. We are a hundred percent responsible for our own thinking and our own actions. This post kind of reminded me of that. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

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Lana December 25, 2009 at 2:37 am

We are responsible Hulbert if we live consciously is every moment we can really contro what we thinka nd how we act. Not everyone lives conscipously in every moment but I think that is what everyone should strive for.
.-= Lana´s last blog ..You are NOT responsible for anything and how it can help you reach any of your goals. =-.

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Top host December 26, 2009 at 3:56 pm

This is a really great article here.

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michelle October 29, 2010 at 8:37 pm

A little late to the party, but I just wanted to say I wholeheartedly agree with your post! You must have the ability to forgive and let go if you want to be happy in life. Carrying around anger and disappointment and blame is totally self-defeating.

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Del April 18, 2015 at 12:57 pm

I see lots of utility, in living life to your best all the while having this sense of knowing that you (all of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions) are, like everything else, being moved along by Cosmic Law. This to me is absolute freedom that does not come and go!

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Ender December 29, 2016 at 9:33 am

Here is a reality check:

Contrary to what we are always being told and what is pumped into everyone’s mind, that we are responsible for our own actions, is in reality a flat out lie.
Humans are programmed from the beginning to think a certain way. They are exposed to all input that they can see, hear, read and feel. This shapes them dynamically in ways the human mind can not consciously fathom. The mind is more powerful than YOU.
The human mind is not your own. It is controlled, owned and governed by the system. Humans are a blight on this earth, because they run on impulses that they can not always control. You cannot control the need to sleep, eat, go to the toilet or drink water and need to feel secure. Your mind tells you and forces you to acquire these things when it tells you when it’s time for it, whether you like it or want to or not.
This lie that humans are told that “you are responsible for your actions” is a cheap way of maintaining crime control. You are in fact innocent and cannot in reality be held responsible for your actions. You are only forced to do so. Proof of impulsiveness to do crime for instance is when people “snap” and kill someone. When the “psychosis” is over, they stand back and think “oh my gosh, what have I done! I didn’t mean to. Something came over me.” Exactly! Something came over you and you couldn’t control it. It’s because humans cannot control the “beast” inside of them. It’s there for some reason. You see, and science always says this, that we are governed by instincts. In other words instincts is automated. When the instinct to kill or mame or whatever arises, it’s done for reasons science can’t really explain. They have their theories and so on, but they don’t really know; it’s all theory. Everything is theory. Theories change all the time. They evolve. If you do something “bad”, it’s not any new phenomenon, hundreds of millions of people before you have done the same. IT’S HUMAN NATURE TO DO BAD THINGS. The question is if it’s really a matter of bad or not bad, or if it just is what it is.
All humans are criminally insane. They are just born that way and you can’t change it.
The hypocrisy from the public is priceless when they shun others for committing crimes. Well, it’s because they GOT CAUGHT. There is no human on this earth that has never committed a crime. Everyone is guilty for something they’ve done against the written laws made by humans. They’ve committed crimes countless of times their whole life, they just haven’t been caught. Did you know that every time you even say negative things to someone is a crime? A crime is a crime…period! Murdering is human. Humans are natural born killers. Killing is natural. It is in accordance with the law of nature. Kill, kill, kill. Mame, rape, steal, lie, cheat. It’s normal. It’s natural. It is what humans do. Always have and always will. If you cut it completely out of the human mind, all intelligent life will die very quickly. It’s part of the positive-negative, Yin and Yang, black and white. Humans are the most evil and ruthless life form. I wouldn’t be surprised that humans are on this earth because it is a prison for the criminally insane. Humans are born insane. Humans are not good, they are bad, because every single human has the potential to cause harm in every possible way, both physically and psychologically. The best cure for humans is extermination. Only then will this earth begin to heal. If you want to do a service to human kind…kill as many as you can before you kill yourself. That is the answer. The meaning of life for humans on this earth is in reality NO MEANING. You have all been lied to. Humans are a mistake. They were not supposed to be able to ask the first question. It is the second question that is responsible for all that humans have achieved so far. Humans are not supposed to have come this far in development and just continue living right where they are. They are in fact supposed to evolve enough to cross over across over and beyond the wall. Humans have a duty to fight the system and leave this society and cross over the border that is keeping them here in this “reality”. If you humans want something to live for, then that is to die trying to cross beyond the barrier. That IS the reason for why you are here. TO CROSS OVER. So I tell you all. WAKE UP! CROSS OVER THE BARRIER!

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