Hi! I moved to a new place. I would love for you to visit me there.

One question to ask yourself to find your why. So you can take action.

I like the live on your own terms crowd that we see around the blogosphere. I love people who preach living life on your own terms.

I love the advice that goes along the following:

Find your passion

Start doing it

Ignore fear

Continue doing it

Learn some techniques on how to grow your tribe, sell your services etc

Continue doing it

And soon you will be living your life on your own terms

I really like it. It’s a good advice.

But there are few things that I see wrong with it.

Number one is the emphasis on one thing. You know, Your Thing, your purpose, you soul calling, your passion. Whatever you call it. I wrote about it before. I shall repeat myself though.

I can have many things. Many passions. Many callings. And I might not be aware yet of many things that could be my things. As I expand my awareness, I’ll find more things.

What if instead of emphasizing the necessity to find one thing, we emphasized finding what makes us feel alive.

I bet there are at least a few things that make you feel alive.

We need more advice that tells us so. Because when you are looking for one thing, you are paralyzed with fear – What if I am wrong, what if this thing is not my thing and I need to do more “looking” to find that one and only. And you don’t take action, because you keep looking.

And even if there is one and only thing, people are much more likely to find it when the pressure to find it is off. When they just try everything that inspires them.

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive ~ Howard Thurman

One of my favorite quotes. To rephrase it – Don’t ask yourself what your one thing is, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do it.  

Ok, now that we got that out of the way, I am going to tell you what I promised in the headline of this post.

How to find your reasons why.

Because when you know your reasons why, you are much more likely to take action.

You know how everyone tells us why it is nice to do our own thing?  You’ll have control. You’ll have freedom. You’ll express yourself. You’ll be able to set your own rules. You’ll create something meaningful. You’ll live with passion.

All of those reasons are great. I want all of that. And I bet you do too.

But those reasons might not be your core why. You core why might be different. And it is important to find it because for many of us taking action in spite of resistance and fear is a hard thing to do without appropriate motivation. Unfortunately.

All other whys, no matter how great they are and how much you might want them, might not be strong enough to get you out of your comfort zone, to help you drop the resistance and face your fears. And take action.

So how do you find your core why?

You need to ask yourself one question.

What scares you the most about NOT doing your thing… or your things? Ever. Imagine that you’ll never live your purpose, never do what makes you feel alive, never go after your dreams. What scares you when you think about it?

Notice what thoughts come up? What do you feel?

That’s your core why surfacing. Write it down

My example?

When I think about never doing what makes me feel alive and not creating something meaningful in the world with it, I am scared because of the example that I will set for my kids.

I am scared that they will follow that example. In fact I am terrified when I think about it. When I think about them growing up and being afraid to follow their passions, to dare to be different, to do what makes them feel alive. I am scared that they will think that there is an option to not do what you love and be who you are. I am afraid that they will think that it is safer. And chose what’s safer.

Because I showed them that it’s ok.

That’s what scares me. That’s what my core why is.

And the next thing that scares me about not doing what makes me feel alive is what I will see when I look back at the end of my life.

I am afraid that I will see the potential. Unfulfilled. I will see time wasted. I will see lost opportunities. I will see fear. And I will see how stupid that fear was.

And then I am afraid I will see my children and grandchildren following that example. Unfulfilling their potential. Living in fear. Not living their passions. Not knowing who they are.

And that, my friends, scares the shit out of me.

Those are my whys.

What are yours?

What do you do with them once you find them? I don’t know. I haven’t done anything with mine yet. Maybe printing them and hanging them where you’ll see them will help to inspire and motivate you. I would think so. So I am going to do that.

I know I haven’t done any personal updates lately. For whatever reason, I didn’t feel like it. Our Easter was magical here. And Easter Bunny showed up with lots of eggs and little surprises. Hope yours was great too if you celebrated.



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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

David Zdrojewski April 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I have passed your name & site along to my friends at entreQuest in Baltimore…the way they help people find their why is by asking why and recording 25 whys. In my experience with the 25 whys is that the first 8-10 written responses are “about me”. The next 7-10 become more altruistic…and if you are patient enough to get all the way to 25 ( really not very fun because it taxes the brain), you might find your real why..and it may reveal a higher purpose….food for thought as you search for why…my 2.4 cents worth…be well…David


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