Anywhere you go, pretty much at any blog you read now, you are encouraged to find your Big Outrageous Dream, take massive action and fly higher than the stars.
Otherwise you are not living your purpose and God forbid you don’t live your purpose!
Your life is a complete waste of time then.
I am all for flying high. I am all for living your purpose. And yes, I am all for stepping into your greatness that we all have.
That’s what I preach on my blog. That’s what I sell my coaching and workshops based on.
Here comes Big But.
What if in a run after a Big Dream and high flights you are forgetting the True Dream? What if the Big Dream you have is not really what your soul wants?
Dreaming big for the sake of dreaming big is like getting married for the sake of getting married. Where will such marriage lead you?
Or what if you went wrong with the strategy of making your Big Dream a reality and as a result the dream itself became not so authentic anymore.
Personal story (don’t you love my personal stories?).
I had a big Vision. The vision was to open Positivity Places in every state in US and oh, well, the world!
Great Vision, LOVE it.
The core idea of Positivity Place is to make personal development routine for people and to create a community, a place for like minded people to get together .
Just like going daily or weekly to the gym to exercise your body, I saw people coming daily to my Positivity Place to exercise their spirits and souls.
Again, I love the Vision.
Then came the strategy, the plan and the tactics of making the Big Dream a reality.
I saw a huge place with several rooms for workshops, seminars, socials etc and common area with café to just sit, relax, sip coffee and get clear on your goals or anything else you might want to get clear on.
I loved that place. I could feel everything inside there. This is the place I’d want to go to myself. This is the place I see a huge need for in our society.
But something didn’t feel right. My big Vision inspired me, but something was still missing.
Could it be because it was too big for me? I was scared to even think about that.
Too big? How can I teach anyone to step into their greatness if I myself think that something is too big for me?
Turned out “too big” was not really a problem in my case. Thanks Divine! Turned out I figured the Vision right but then went overboard on details.
How did I find that out?
Simple. I asked myself – What is the core feeling you want to experience when your Vision comes true?
This is the number one most important question you should ask yourself.
My core feeling is freedom. Creative freedom (this is the most important one!), financial freedom, time freedom etc.
Freedom is everything to me.
Would I feel free running and growing that huge place? A place where I have to be at daily, work really hard, find investors for, spend enormous amount of time taking off the ground? Would I feel free?
I really doubt that.
What Freedom means to me:
- Freedom means being location independent.
- Freedom means staying flexible.
- Freedom means not having to deal with investors who have certain demands.
- Freedom means spending as much time with my son as I want instead of working 70 hours a week while someone else is seeing him grow.
- Freedom is having a choice of when, how, where and with whom.
- Freedom means having enough time to create masterpieces on this blog.
- Freedom means so much more but you get the picture.
And while all of that might be very possible down the road with Positivity Place but I doubt it will be possible for the first few years of taking a project like this one off the ground.
And my son is growing now. I really don’t want to take few years off of being involved in every minute I can of his life.
So the big Vision had to be reevaluated.
It really felt like I was giving up on my Big Dream while I was going through reevaluation process.
But then I realized that I was not giving up on the Vision. I was giving up on a certain way of making it a reality.
The Vision itself is still true. The Vision of making personal development routine for people and creating a community of like minded people doesn’t necessarily have to come true in a form of a huge place with multiple daily events.
It was never about the Vision. It was all about the details I was too attached to.
As soon as I realized that, it was like a huge burden that was lifted from my soul.
We can do maybe couple events per week or even per month. We can build a community based not on location but based on people and those people can get together anywhere. We can skip the in house café and cater certain events.
I can do so much without sacrificing the Freedom.
I can do so much while staying true to my core feeling and my core Vision. Most importantly I will stay true to myself.
So what’s your Big Dream?
Do you feel discomfort when thinking about it?
If yes, maybe it’s time to see if you got too wrapped up in details of making it a reality? Maybe it’s time to see if you are too attached to a certain way of doing it?
Or maybe even the Vision itself is really not your True Vision because it doesn’t ultimately satisfy your core feelings you want to experience?
So here are the steps to find all of that out:
1. Get clear on your core feeling. What is your core feeling(s) you want to experience when you reach your dreams? Why do you want what you want?
The true answer usually lies behind several “whys”. Keep asking yourself – Why do I want it? If you want more money, ask why? Maybe it is the feeling of security or confidence or ability to support a luxurious lifestyle that you crave for or freedom to travel the world.
Question “Why” can crack open your reality.
Another way to get clear on your core feeling is to imagine your Ideal Day. Close your eyes and see yourself living your Ideal Day. What do you see there? Most importantly how do you feel there?
2. Once you are clear on your core feeling, see what dream and what kind of way of making that dream a reality will satisfy your core feeling.
Don’t get too attached to details. Stay flexible. As long as the core feeling is going to be satisfied, details can be changed or adjusted along the way.
3. Don’t be afraid to change the Vision if the Vision itself doesn’t satisfy your core feeling. Even if you’ve been working on it for awhile, stop. What’s the point of making something come true if it won’t make your soul sing?
So what’s your Big Dream? Is it Your True Dream? Do you feel any discomfort thinking about it? Maybe it’s time to downsize the dream? Or upgrade it? Or change the plan?
Remember, it’s not about Dreaming Big, it’s about Dreaming Authentically.