I used to have a belief for a long period of my life that people didn’t like me.
This is by the way one of the top ten limiting beliefs people have.
I used to have that belief in a slightly exaggerated form though.
It was coming from childhood and from my mom’s desire to have an easy going and communicative child which I never was.
She used to always directly or indirectly try to change me. I have a great mom by the way, she did what she thought would be the best for me. But as a result of that I formed a belief that people didn’t like me the way I was.
Anyway, I realized that I had that belief a long time ago.
I also realized that it was just a belief and that it limited me a lot in life since it didn’t allow me to fully express who I was and made me very insecure.
The nature of our beliefs is very tricky. When we have a belief about something we’ll always find proof of that belief in the external world.
When I had this belief that people didn’t like me, that’s what I was noticing everywhere I went.
Of course, there were (and still are) plenty of people who love me. But I simply ignored them and focused on those who didn’t. That in turn reinforced my belief and made it even stronger.
Quite a vicious cycle.
When I started living more consciously, I started reevaluating my beliefs.
One thing I learned was that often just becoming aware of the limiting belief was enough to let it go.
Ahh Awareness… It can truly create miracles.
Well, unfortunately, with some deeply rooted beliefs not everything is that easy.
I let go of the belief partially but not all of it. How did I know?
Awareness helped again. I told you it’s a powerful tool.
I started noticing (became aware of) occasions when the belief reappeared again.
I think one of them was when I sent a friend request to a person on FB who I was really interested to become friends with and the person didn’t respond to the request for several days. The first thought I had was that the person didn’t like what I had written in the message I sent, which was pretty silly to think, but I did.
The thought was very quick and then I immediately realigned myself realizing how stupid it was to think that (state of awareness again).
I had a couple of other occasions like that one and those brief thoughts or reactions that I became aware of showed me that the belief is still there.
I let it go quickly and don’t allow it to make my life miserable anymore because I am aware of it. But it would be so nice to not have it at all, to let it go out of my life completely.
And I think I finally did.
How did I do that?
Instead of trying to fight my limiting belief that people don’t like me, I decided to consciously let go of my need for approval by others.
I consciously decided that from now on I will allow people to not like me (as if they ever cared about my permissionJ). I allowed myself to be okay with people not liking me.
I made a decision and I also wrote it down – “I am completely fine when someone doesn’t like me and I allow them to feel towards me the way they please”.
So I attacked the belief from a different angle. It is still there but I don’t care about it anymore since I don’t care about people liking me or not anymore. Well, I probably still do but I am not attached to it.
What are the beliefs you have that bother you? Are you even aware of your limiting beliefs? Becoming aware is the first and most important step of stopping those beliefs from ruling your life and dictating you how you are going to think, feel and act.
Become aware first and then see how you can completely get rid of them.
Find a different angle to your belief just like I did and let it go.
But before you do that you have to learn how to become aware, right? Without awareness you’ll continue living on autopilot at the mercy of your limiting beliefs.
How to become aware:
Stop and ask why. Ask why you are thinking, feeling and acting the way you do. Why are you afraid to do something? Does it really make sense? Or is it some limiting belief of yours stopping you from taking action? Stop and ask, often just that is enough to uncover limiting beliefs.
Watch your language. Notice how you speak. Do you have lots of negative phrases in your vocabulary? Do you have lots of – “It won’t work”, “I don’t think I can do it”, “this is unrealistic”, “they won’t approve” etc? Do you have any “Would be nice but…”, “I’d love to but I should..”, “I don’t want to but I have to…” Watch how you speak and you’ll become aware of your limiting beliefs.
Watch your thoughts. What are the thoughts that run through your mind? Are there lots of those that make you a victim, criticize you, complain etc? Notice the patterns, find limiting beliefs. Become aware. Only after that can you let them go.
Start noticing your second reaction to something. Your first reaction usually comes from your soul and is true. You second reaction might be different and it is when your limiting beliefs kick in.
When I wanted to send a friend request to a person I talked about earlier, I was excited. Then the second reaction came and my limiting belief kicked in – she might not have liked what I had written (people don’t like you, don’t you remember?)
Write it down. When you become aware of your limiting thoughts, words, reactions– write them down. Otherwise you’ll forget.
Meditate. Meditation is the number one tool that helps with the state of awareness. It helps us to become an observer.
Without becoming more aware you won’t be able to stop and ask why. You’ll continue on autopilot doing what you were doing. You won’t be able to notice your limiting language patterns or your second reactions. All of that is possible only when you are aware, when you are observing.
After you became aware of some of the limiting beliefs that hold you back in life, see how you can let them go completely.
Find the angle that will help you get rid of any need to have that negative belief.
Release your attachment to the thing you are so afraid of.
Free yourself up.
You’ll love it, I promise.
Live Consciously, Be Yourself, Follow Your Dreams!
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