How It Started.
1.5 years ago I launched an ebook + video course. I had just started my blog and “online business” and wanted to make it big with my first product. Right away.
It was called… Dream Lifestyle Creation Formula. I hope you realize how uncomfortable I am at the moment telling you about it. I couldn’t have come up with a more hyped up name. I took it off the market few weeks after the launch. It didn’t have a chance with such name. Plus I was trying to sell something I wasn’t living myself. My dream lifestyle was not there yet. Huge mistake.
I recently was talking to my man and told him that now would be a good time to relaunch that product because I finally live the dream.
Of course, now I have different dreams. Bigger. Bolder. The cycle never stops. But still.
(I am not seriously relaunching it, don’t worry. It will forever stay in my “how could I be so stupid” folder. The product itself was really good though, I had great reviews from people who bought it. But the name… I really need to stop thinking about it now)
What was my dream lifestyle back then?
I didn’t want 9-5. And 9-5 was so on my horizon at that time.
I wanted my business to start growing. I wanted time freedom. I wanted to have happier relationship, I wasn’t happy with my marriage.
I wanted to have clarity on who I was and what I wanted to do in this world. I wanted to have a happy family with the man I love and my boy Nicholas. I wanted to have a community of like minded people around me.
At that time even a thought about a divorce scared me. My ex husband is not a jerk. He is a wonderful person. You don’t normally divorce wonderful people. I had a big excuse – I wasn’t happy. But still.
Also I am an immigrant. My ex husband was pretty much the only close person I had here in US. My family, my friends, my everything stayed in Russia when I decided to move here. I also was a stay at home mom with a small child. Not the most ideal conditions to get divorced.
I had my blog and some online marketing experience. The blog was called Dreamfollowers and I had a very vague idea of what to do with it.
I had a very vague idea of who I wanted to be. And what difference I wanted to make in the world. I knew the general direction. It looked something like this – I am passionate about personal growth and development, spirituality and entrepreneurship. I know a lot about it, read lots of books, experienced some breakthroughs, I love helping people, let’s do something with it for a living.
Fast forward 1.5 years later. Here is where I am now.
I found the courage to ask for divorce. The process was long and painful for all of us. But it is almost over.
I wrote a list of 31 qualities I’d want to have in a new partner. Some of them were general but some were very specific. I also wrote a long description of what kind of romantic relationship I’d like to have. One of the key phrases I put there was “We completely fulfill each other’s spiritual, physical and emotional needs”. That phrase alone covers it all. In my opinion.
I met my man last February, we started (actively) dating in April and are moving in in November. He has 30 out of 31 qualities that I put on my list. The one that he misses turned out to be not what I truly wanted anyway.
He is everything I ever hoped to find in a man and more. And the best part, we truly fulfill both of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
While going through the whole divorce thing I was ready to give up so many times and go get a 9-5 job. I was lost, scared and felt incredibly insecure about my future.
I even interviewed for the marketing position with some local company. But never took the job. And it looks like now I won’t have to. My coaching and workshops are picking up, there are new projects in the works, new ideas and new partnerships.
Speaking of coaching and workshops and ideas, it took lots of courage to get here. Putting a coaching page up. Claiming my value. Announcing a workshop. Charging for it. Letting go of the business idea that I spent lots of time and energy on and starting over. Scary stuff.
I have clarity now. I feel on purpose and on target. Still a lot to figure out and lots of fears to bust but I am so making a progress.
I started two groups that serve me as my communities of like minded people. Old friends from old life disappeared one after another. Painlessly and naturally. On their place came new friends that are more in alignment with who I am now.
I think I made quite a progress considering it it has been only 1.5 years.
The funny thing is that I didn’t even notice all those changes until lately. That’s how it always happens. I looked at some of the things I was writing in my journal 1.5 years ago and it hit me. I am living it. My dreams are here. All of them. Not even one is missing.
Look at your dreams from few years ago. Most likely you are living all of them now too.
So I tried to look back and track what I’ve been doing to make that happen.
What are the key steps that I took?
Two words came up.
Really. That’s what I was doing. I kept asking questions. I kept looking. Until I found my core. My true dreams and passions. I never stopped getting clearer. And then dared. Dared to take action. One after another. Some were scary and difficult to take. Some came naturally.
Asked for divorce. Got a lawyer. Said: “I love you”. Said: “Good bye”. Said “No” to a getting a job even though getting it sounded like a good and “safe” idea.
If I had to break it down into steps, those are the things that I did:
1. Start asking the right questions. What is it that I need to figure out to move forward? What am I passionate about? How can I quit my job and start doing what I love? How can I move out of the relationship that is not working? How can a build a deep connection with my kids that will last a lifetime? The answers will come. Just start asking.
2. Decide what you truly want. What do you want? Why is it often so difficult to claim our dreams? You don’t even have to do anything yet. Just tell me what your dreams are. Make a clear choice. Also make sure they are authentic dreams, not something that you are dreaming by default.
3. Commit to living from the core. Commit to stop faking it. Commit to find and claim what’s true to who you are. Commit to creative self-expression in everything you do.
4. Dare. To do something. You don’t have to do it right. Just start moving in the direction of your dreams. Don’t wait for perfect timing.
I am not even going to tell you to do the best you can. Sometimes the best we can is more than we can do. I could have done so many things better than I did. Do I wish now that I didn’t do them at all? No! They helped me to get clearer. Take another layer off.
Do what you can first. And then strive to do the best you can.
I truly believe that clarity is a never ending process. But when you commit to living from your core, life slowly but surely starts realigning itself.
What could have helped me to do better?
To move faster. To take bolder actions. To stop procrastinating on things that matter.
Two things came to mind.
1. Giving more to space to clarity.
Giving a space to dreams to emerge. To get to the core. To ask and listen. How? I could have spent 15 minutes every day just getting clearer. Getting to my core. And tapping into natural wisdom that is there already. I was doing it but not every day.
2. I also could have used more commitment to daring.
Commitment to taking action. However small that action would be. I could have tried more. Doubted less.
You truly cannot fail. Failure is such an illusion. The more you try, the more confident you become. The more you learn. The faster you move. Forward.
So, really, the two things that I believe could have helped me are space and commitment to daring.
I want to start doing it now. I want to start daring more. And I want to spend at least 15 minutes a day getting to my core. I know, good stuff is hiding there.
And I was inspired to help you do the same.
The idea that I had right after I decided to do it myself was to create a program called 30 days of Clarity and Daring. Yes, yet another product. I won’t stop launching them until I find the one that I truly resonate with. And then another one. And another one.
We will spend 30 days making sure that every day we have a space for our dreams to emerge, for our Vision to become clearer, for layers of doubt to peel off. We will also commit to daring. Taking action. Small. Big. Medium. Doesn’t matter. But we’ll be taking action. It might be sending emails to people we didn’t dare to email before, saying I am sorry, writing a blog post, starting a business. Now. Without waiting for the perfect moment to come.
Claiming our dreams. Acting on inspiration. Doing something. Every day. Something that will move us forward.
I love this program already. More details coming soon.